Friends are relatives you make for yourself. ~Eustache Deschamps

It is astounding the many sayings about friendship. Friends are there to help you through the hard times and tell you the truth that you have been hiding from yourself. . But they are always with you in the good times and the bad, ready to cheer for you and sometimes ready to cry with you.

When I was growing up, my mother liked to quote: "blood is thicker than water." But after standing in a row with my siblings, while she slapped our hands with a stick because someone had eaten the chocolate she had squirreled in her bedroom, I wondered if I wanted to be around my relatives. I wanted to flee the sad experiences of a crazy mother and a weak father. I wanted a friend.

Even though my mother told me over and over to make friends with my sisters (four of them), I couldn't. We were too different. We had different goals. I wanted to become educated and travel. They wanted to get married and have children. Eventually my sisters did marry. And, I joined the U.S. Navy.

So I had my first friendship in Pensacola. Her name was Amanada. We would talk about our families, about men, and about the military. She was a marine corporal. In her view, I had had too many sad times. It was time to party. She would drag me to the club dressed to the nines and dance. Once I began to relax, she began to introduce me to her friends. When I left Pensacola to go to Japan, I collected friends. Some were good for me and some were bad.

I learned something about myself, too. But, John Donne says it better than I do.

No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as any manner of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

John Donne

So friendship and the sayings about friendship point out that this world is better with relatives of the heart. My relative of my heart and best friend is my husband. He reads my stories, listens to my problems, and is there for me. Even though he is a man and has a different viewpoint of friendship, I am also his best friend. I listen to the problems at work or rub his neck. I give him some time to be alone.

And, friendship is entirely different for extroverts and introverts. The reason I bring up this fact is that about 80 percent of Americans are extroverts. So the more friends the better. It seems like a big party. The introverts are quite different. They have a few select friends. In some ways, introvert friendship is more intense.

But whether you are an in extrovert or an introvert, it is good to have friends. And in finding friendship, we become a part of humankind.

Learn more about this author, Cyn Bagley.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Assessing popular sayings about friendship?
We want to hear your view. Write now!