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The positive benefits of sharing family mealtimes together are numerous. When we overlook this simple activity, our children miss out on many opportunities for not only sharing and learning, but also for building valuable skills.

I recently attended a school-sponsored workshop on building family connections. The keynote speaker discussed various methods for increasing quality family time, and in the midst of his presentation, recommended that families eat at least one meal a week together in order to remain connected and involved.

His recommendation shocked me, not because he recommended family mealtimes, but because it had become necessary to do so.

My fondest memories of my early years are all centered around our kitchen table. It never occurred to us, growing up, not to eat dinner together. Dinner was more than a meal; it was an event. Between "Pass the potatoes, please" and "May I have some more tea, please?" we discussed not only events happening in our personal lives, but world events as well.

This was our time to come together as a family, to share our stories from the day, to make our plans for the next day. We reconnected with each other every evening around that kitchen table.

Perhaps because I had a teacher for a mother and a minister for a father, many of our dinner conversations centered on philosophical issues. Our dinner conversations taught us the art of healthy debate. They taught us to respect opposing views, and to come prepared to defend our own.

We learned to think critically, to question everything, and to have our facts in order. Our nightly dinner conversations taught us skills that would benefit us in all of our future endeavors. And knowing that we would come together at the end of the day also provided us with hope for a safe place to land and receive needed support when the day had been rife with challenges.

I continue this tradition with my family. We do not eat until all members are present and accounted for. Distractions such as televisions and telephones are not allowed. We focus on each other, listening, cajoling, debating, and advising as needed. When we have sufficiently reconnected, the outside world is allowed back in, and we are all stronger, happier, and better prepared to rejoin it.

Through this shared activity, we teach our children countless lessons. They learn that they are valued and that their thoughts and opinions matter. They learn how to share, how to listen, and how to advise. They learn communication skills and critical thinking skills, all while developing a thirst for knowledge.

Perhaps the most important lesson they learn is that the family unit, however it is composed, is a foundation and a shelter that, when nurtured, can withstand anything.

Learn more about this author, Melinda Clayton.
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