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could be a vexation at such a time.

How do you get a friend? Just one popular saying springs out in answer.
"The only way to have a friend is to be one." Ralph Waldo Emerson
This must rank as an example of hyperbole. It sounds like a maxim, but means a very narrow view with the words "only way". Being a friend never guarantees the return in kind. It only generates the possibility of such a response. Now if it read "One way to have a friend is to be one", then that is more realistically feasible.

How do you keep a friend?
"Keep your friendships in repair."- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Instantly, this sounds like friends are a commodity; something useful for selfish purposes.

What does a friend do?
"Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and then wait to hear the answer."- Unknown
Now this saying has some possibility. It is one of the few popular sayings that attempts to look at the value of the passive element in friendship- listening.

What is the difference between old friends and new friends?
"Make new friends but keep the old ones; one is silver and the other's gold." Anonymous
The first part of this comment suggests that new friends should not replace old simply because they are new. That seems logical. But to equate old and new friends in terms of silver and gold sounds very mercenary. And surely a new friend is more likely to begin in the copper and bronze department rather than silver? Perhaps that thought just doesn't sound so good.

Are there good and bad friends?
"True friends are like diamonds; precious but rare. Fake friends are like fall leaves; found everywhere." Anonymous
This saying has problems. The colors of autumn leaves are utterly beautiful; precious moments. Because there are many doesn't make them less precious. If the saying said "fall leaves that don't last", then there may be some authenticity to it.

What is the benefit of having a friend?
1. "A friend is someone who sees through you and still enjoys the view" Wilma Askinas
2. "I get by with a little help from my friends." John Lennon
3. "Little friends may prove great friends." Aesop
These sayings are all useful. They are thoughtful reflections on possibilities without suggesting narrow truths.

Quirky views of friendship
"A true friend stabs you in the front."- Oscar Wilde
This is just plain fun. In true Wilde performance, he has used the concept of a backstabber, a negative, and twists it round to the worst a friend can do. Some home truths about yourself? Some honest reality? The action is good for your spiritual health. Well, maybe!

What is the ultimate gift of one friend to another?
1. "And no one is useless while they have a friend"- Robert Louis Stevenson
2. "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13, KJV)
That word "useless" in Stevenson's response seems awkward. Someone who feels useless has no sense of self-worth. But someone deemed useless by others is another matter. Stevenson does not distinguish the two interpretations. "No one is alone while they have a friend" would ring with more sense and less question. That would be an ultimate sharing of life. But the Bible comment is a gem. It applies to either the ultimate physical or spiritual sacrifice one friend can possibly give another.

Even though there are so many popular sayings on friendship, most struggle to define the dimensions of friendship. That means there is still plenty of space for more to writers to explore the meaning of the common, everyday, basic need for friendship.

Learn more about this author, Gemma Wiseman.
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