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Take the heart of a person. With each beat, the desire to be loved and to fit in is a longing shared universally. I believe most of us walk around this earth with heavy protectors over our being, because we simply are afraid of being rejected. It is this fear of rejection that is holding the blessings of friendship hostage.

Rejection comes in all degrees and is the cause for why we retreat and become sheepish about making new friends. Maybe you were always picked last for dodge ball. You got stood up at the prom. Your own father never claimed you. Despite years of faithful dedication, your wife left you for another. Some jerk told you that you were not enough. Nobody remembered your birthday.

How then, in a world filled with emotional walls and barricades constructed to protect our feelings, do we make friends?

First, be honest with yourself. If you are a person that lacks successful friendships in your life, evaluate why. Take a personality test. It may help you learn about yourself. Maybe you are coming off too assertive or maybe a little too opinionated.

In no means am I suggesting to hide your true identity, but keep in mind that other people have feelings too, and sometimes a sweet whisper or a light footing softens ones defenses and something beautiful happens. They let you in.

Secondly, you have to take a chance. Unless you plan on making the postman your new friend, be aware that you are going to have to put yourself out there. Pray that God will put people in your path, friends that will have your best interest at heart.

You will be surprised as you put one foot in front of the other, and show up for events, volunteer, workout at the gym, canvass bookstores, and even dine alone, God will create divine appointments that lead you to meeting people at specific times and places.

Thirdly, be the friend that you would want. Sometimes this means dying to our self. Putting a friend's need before you own can take discipline and practice. But, great friendships are built on such doctrine.

You cannot always be the giver, because relationships cannot bloom when one friend is deprived of affirming love and support. Some seasons though may require more of you. So, give it generously, give it joyously. When it's all said and done, to find a new friendship that lasts to the end, is like sharing the walk with an angel on a journey not known.

Learn more about this author, Dawn Reed.
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