by Barb Dee

Created on: February 29, 2008   Last Updated: June 29, 2009

FIVE EFFECTIVE WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS

Stress management is a process not an event. It's like monitoring the weather. If life is on an even keel you can coast for a while and enjoy it, however if storm clouds are gathering it's time to head for cover.

CHANGE DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS
For over ten years I conducted psychological evaluations in one of the busiest emergency departments in the country. I loved my job, but it wasn't reciprocal. The stress was making me sick and I decided to get out while there was still time. I have no regrets. You may have the job of your dreams, however, destructive stress comes in different forms. For someone else it may be a toxic relationship, caregiver burnout, or anything that erodes your health and sense of well being. Nothing will change until you take decisive action. That may mean getting out of a bad situation or bringing in resources to make your life more manageable.

MONITOR CRITICAL LIFE EVENTS
Critical life events happen to everyone eventually, but some people seem to have more than their fair share. It may be the death of a spouse, a life -altering car accident, or debilitating illness. Another example includes victims of violent crime. Events like this often create secondary trauma, such as serious financial setbacks, rage, or high risk behavior. It increases the likelihood of divorce. When one person in a family is the focus of an intensive effort, others are often neglected. Children are at high risk to fall off track developmentally and often experience academic failure or delinquency. Early recognition and intervention is needed to prevent families from spiraling into dysfunction. Counselors, mentors, coaches, youth pastors and trusted friends can help.

MAINTAIN HEALTHY BOUNDARIES
Relationships require negotiation skills. People who are aggressive or passive have difficulty with boundaries. Boundaries are the spoken and unspoken rules that govern interpersonal relationships and behavior in marriage and family life, work and in social situations. If you struggle with aggressiveness, consider taking a class in assertiveness or anger management. If you let people walk all over you, get assistance to develop a script to help you hold your own. You will need a lot of practice and consistency is the key to success. If your spouse, children or boss can wear you down, consult a professional who can help support you through the process.

PRAYER
Belief that there is a power greater than I am reduces stress immensely. To know that God is in control means I don't have to be. Prayer is simply talking and listening to God. Intercessory prayer is to petition God to intercede on behalf of a person or situation.

ENCOURAGEMENT
Encouragement can lift a person out of the abyss of despair. And laughter is a balm to the weary. There is a whole world out there that is willing to tear us apart. When life throws us curve balls, who is there to lift us up? Home needs to be a safe haven. Sometimes home is a place where people live. The broader definition is where people belong and feel safe. Kind words are a buffer that helps us face another day.

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