by David R. Chase

Created on: February 28, 2008   Last Updated: February 07, 2010

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years trying to get other people interested in you." -Dale Carnegie

People love. That's not a sentence fragment; that's the whole thing. There are lots of things people love - and one of them is other people. They love to be noticed, to be the object of someone's concern, and to feel as if they are somebody worth knowing. Want to make a friend? Make someone feel one of those things and you're halfway there.

For some people, making friends is difficult; perhaps a shy manner, slightly low self-esteem, or nervousness about interacting with others inhibits their ability to ease into a friendship with someone new. Others seem to have it easy - they can converse (and get along with) just about anyone, and are always surrounded by people who genuinely want to be in their company.

No matter who you are, you need somebody. We're wired to be social creatures - whether we're wired to be crotchety grouches who hose the trick-or-treaters on Halloween night or we're the ones who set up a haunted backyard just so others can have a little fun, we need some sort of interaction with people. We choose, each and every day, if our interactions will be positive or negative... even if we don't always realize it.

Now that you know you need somebody, how do you get your own somebody? Making friends is easy, but you've got to see it that way in order for it to work that way. When you make eye contact with a stranger (and by the way, a stranger is simply a friend you haven't met yet), are you smiling or frowning? Are you sending out the "Don't talk to me or I might chew your leg off" vibe or the "I'm worth knowing, and you look like you are too" vibe?

The fastest way to make a friend is to show that you care. If you see a little old lady on the street struggling with bags and a walker, you care (well, you should; if you don't, a little therapy might be in order). Show her you care - go lend a helping hand and say something like, "Hello, ma'am. How is your day going?" You'll be surprised at where those seven little words take you.

If you were that little old lady, you'd certainly appreciate the whole experience.

It doesn't even have to be that extreme, though. A simple smile at someone in a checkout line is a good start; if you're only comfortable going that far, that's fine - for now. When your smiles get returned on a regular basis, toss out a friendly comment or two. "Hi" is a good start

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