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As I have watched my parents go through various stages in their lives, I began to see that neither one of them had a good sense of self. They didn't seem to know themselves very well, and that caused them to struggle in life more than I think they would have if they had known themselves better. During that time in my life, I had a very strong sense of myself; who I was and because of that, I was very secure and happy. Unfortunately, that did not last and during the past decade or so, I have struggled with trying to find my place in the world again.

During the past decade, life has been difficult in so many ways. We made a major move due to a
change in my husband's job. A few years after that, my parents began to experience ill health, and as a result, we had to move them closer to us, which proved to be much more challenging than we expected. My father fell and broke his hip ten days after moving, and this event set the tone for the next two years of our lives. It was during this traumatic two years that my own sense of self seemed to be the most unclear. As I moved through the days of my father's doctor's visits, broken bones, and too many hospitalizations, I felt like a robot instead of a real person; I was simply going through the motions every day instead of really living life. Stress was at an all time high in my home and in my life, and it affected me and all of those around me as well. It was during this time that I feel that I somehow lost "me". I knew who I was by nature, but that person no longer seemed to exist, and it perplexed and depressed me.

As my father's health needs continued to become more serious and more time consuming, I found myself withdrawing into myself more and more. Anxiety, which has always been a struggle for me, became a constant unwanted companion. Each time the phone rang, I was filled with a feeling of dread because the ringing of the phone usually meant that there was a problem or emergency that needed my immediate attention. Not only was anxiety a constant force in my life, but depression and extreme loneliness also filled my days during that time in my life.

As a result of my circumstances, I believe that I became a different person, instead of remaining true to myself, and I didn't like the person I had become very much. I still don't like that person very much, but unfortunately, she is still with me much too often today.

I know who I really am, deep down inside, but that person doesn't surface very often. During those most

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