by Wendy Brock

Created on: February 28, 2008

There is one real life hero who I have had the great fortune to know: my mother. My mother and I are very close. I have a deep admiration for her, but there is one characteristic about her that puts her above all other moms. Anyone who has ever met or known my mom knows she has an enduring commitment to her family.

In the past two years, my mom has been subjected to more hardships than a person should every go through in one lifetime. When her older brother's Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma returned, she was there for him everyday. Anytime he needed a ride to the V.A. hospital, my mother took him. He was so sick the last couple of months he was alive. After he was permanently admitted to the hospital, mom stayed with him daily, making sure he got the care he needed. In his last couple of weeks, he couldn't speak, but my mom was there to be his voice.

When we lost my uncle, my grandmother became very depressed. Within six months, granny's grieving over my uncle led to a decline in her health. As her dementia worsened, we had to move her into a nursing. Granny demanded that mom visit her everyday. Mom did. Then she demanded that mom visit all day. Mom did.

Whenever I've questioned mom why she's always done what granny asked, mom always gives me the same serious answer: "I always did what mama told me to." At first, I thought this was one of those parent gimmicks to try and get me to mind her. Through my mom's actions, I saw that she was telling the truth.

In granny's last weeks, mom never left her side. Anything granny wanted or needed, mom made sure she got it. Mom and I knew granny's time wasn't long and we tried to make the most of our last days together. Granny passed away a year a month after my uncle.

Not only did my mom do all that in the last couple of years, but she did it while battling her own illnesses. Like me, she suffers from Lupus, a debilitating disease that makes you suffer from chronic fatigue. She also has achalaysia, a rare disease that causes her esophagus to close up. She's gone through countless procedures that stretch her esophagus just so she can eat. But most of the procedures don't help.

She's had to modify her diet. She can only eat certain things now. Food was one of her main joys in life. She never smoked or drank alcohol. When I asked her why she never tried those things, she said, "It's not right to do that stuff and I might have liked it. Since I haven't tried it, I don't know what I'm missing." So her love is for food. But now, she can't eat most of her favorite meals.

When she was taking care of our sick family, they always came first, no matter how sick or tired she felt. She never complained either. I could tell by the look on her face when her chest was hurting from lifting those wheelchairs. I could see how tired she was in her eyes. When I told her that she needed to take care of herself, too, she would firmly tell me: "If it's meant for me to die by taking care of my family, then that's how I'll go." I knew better than to argue with her.

My mom is an inspiration to me. She has shown me through her actions how a mother should be. A mother should always put her family first before everything else, even herself. That's what my mom has done.

Now that she's not as healthy as she once was, I take her to her doctor appointments. When she needs something, I'm there for her. Some people say "I'm becoming my mother!" with resentment and sarcasm. I only hope that one day I can say it and it actually is true. There is no other person I'd rather confide in, have lunch with, or just drive around in the car with than my mother. She's my best friend and my heroine.

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