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RANGE-FREE MOTHERS PRODUCE BETTER BREAST MILK

A government research project has now shown that human mothers who range at large through wilderness areas develop healthier breast milk for their young. The study followed 150 participants who spent 9 hours per day moving through federal parks picking berries, cracking walnuts or digging roots as available. Except for 37 who developed pneumonia and 19 who sustained injuries related to deer hunting season, participants reported surprisingly positive results.

The Natural Baby Milk League advises close adherence to its newly published "Free Range Mothers" regimen based on lessons learned through this valuable research. Women should be evenly spaced, maintaining approximately 30 feet of separation as they progress through vegetation in groups of no more than 20. No one should go barefoot in temperatures below 49 degrees Fahrenheit and brightly colored safety vests should be worn during hunting season.

The study also determined that overgrazing is not a problem as long as the minimum acreage-to-mother ratio is approximately 18 to 1. Mother's who follow these guidelines will have the satisfaction of knowing they are living a healthy natural lifestyle that results in optimum breast milk quality for their young.

Ranger Timothy Johnson warns that campers should be aware of the presence of hungry mothers in the woods. Campers should not feed the mothers and should tie up all food in trees at night to prevent dietary cheating. Mothers who raid campground refuse containers should be reported to park rangers and the public should be aware that a mother sighting may quickly turn dangerous. Free range moms can weigh up to 110 pounds and are often unafraid of campers.

"When you factor in the probability the mother is hungry and her baby is no doubt nearby, situations involving food are potentially volatile," the Ranger warned.

Park rangers are trained to dart problem mothers in a humane fashion and remove them to sparsely populated areas for their own well-being and the protection of the general public.

As this health fad grows in popularity the Park Service has promised to post Free Range Mother Advisories. Ranger Johnson is optimistic park visitor numbers will actually trend upward as a result of curiosity.

"I just don't think these mother-foragers will scare our campers away," declared Johnson.

Learn more about this author, Mike Ogden.
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