by Megan Bayliss

Created on: November 12, 2006   Last Updated: May 14, 2007

The storybook duck that quacked me safe.

Quiet like a queen walking, Granddad sneaked into my room. He woke me up when he sat on my bed and stroked my hair. Because it was dark, he said he couldn't see where my head was and he accidentally stroked my bosom too. Silly Granddad.

Mummy told me if he EVER did anything like that, I had to get my storybook duck onto him. Mummy bought me a special squeaky book, full of quacking duckies. She showed me how to hide it under my pillow and how to keep pressing the mother duck so that it would make big quacks to wake up Grandma and scare silly Granddad away. Mummy said that the storybook and Grandma would help keep me safe. It was like a safety alarm.

I love Granddad and I like it when he tells me I'm his special princess. He told me his princess love kisses were our special secret. Mummy also told me it's not good to have secrets. Secrets can make kids sad. It is better to have surprises. They're like a good secret that ends on an extra special day: like a birthday or Christmas. On those days, you can blab to everyone about what's inside the pretty wrapped present - even if the present is a big tarantula. I like surprises because there's always cake and soft drink. Like at birthday parties. They're cool.

Mummy said when she was a kid she had secrets. The secrets got like scrambled eggs in her head and heart and made her cry all the time. Mummy didn't have nice people near her, not even Granddad and Grandma. Nobody helped her give her secrets a bath to clean them up. My Mum had to walk around with scrambled eggs in her head for 20 years. Yuk. Because the secret scrambles smelt so much Mummy went to a doctor to help fix them. She went to a talk doctor. I don't know how the talk doctor washed out her mind. Maybe he talked to her while he stuck a cleaner in her ear and hosed out her mind.

The talk doctor talked to Grandma too and finally Grandma believed about the stuck egg in Mum's head. I don't know why Granddad had to go away to clean his scrambled eggs but it took almost a whole year to get him cleaned up. Mummy was still a bit dirty inside her head and she said that she didn't trust anyone anymore, 'specially Granddad.

When it was time for the new little baby to come out of Mummy's tummy she had to ring Grandma to come and look after me. Grandma wouldn't come without Granddad. Grandma told Mummy that Granddad had promised not to cook me scrambled eggs. Mummy said Grandma was sort of safe and that Grandma would bonk Granddad

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