by Melinda Clayton

Created on: February 27, 2008

As a psychotherapist, I've spent many years working with children with issues related to violence. When one is working with violent children, there are so many factors involved that to assume that violent video games create violent children is to grossly misunderstand the issues. It isn't one factor alone that creates violence in our children, but many.

Some studies have shown that after watching a show with violence, children tend to act out more violently in daycare settings, and this is the argument most often cited by those who feel violent games create violent children. What is lacking in the study, however, is a comparative study indicating that immediately after watching nearly any show, children will initially act out that show in their play. So one might reasonably make the argument that immediately after watching a violent show, children may exhibit more violence in their play...for a few moments, but with no lasting effects.

Instead, what research overwhelmingly shows is that violent children come from violent families. As in any research there will be exceptions to this, as well as exceptions to the level of violence experienced by the child, but the evidence is too overwhelming to be ignored. In the case of the Columbine students, while there is certainly no known evidence of physical abuse perpetrated by the parents of the killers, there is ample evidence that there was an emotional disconnect between parent and child.

I fear we do our children, and especially our boys, a huge disservice by insisting that they "make nice" and "play nice" without consideration for normal, healthy development. Free play is the channel through which children learn impulse control, anger management, cooperation, compromise, and creativity. When we allow our misunderstandings and our fears to overrule this natural outlet for children, we create more problems than we solve. While we certainly need to monitor and supervise the games our children play and the shows our children watch, we need to also encourage them to express their feelings and thoughts through their play.

As a psychotherapist, I have often had to explain my techniques to concerned foster parents. In our play therapy room we had toy guns, toy handcuffs, toy knives, and empty liquor bottles. The children with whom we worked had often been through horrendous abuse. They were drawn towards these items in an attempt to "explain" to me, through their play, what had happened to them and how they felt about it.

I had to explain to the concerned foster parents that children need to be able to work through their feelings and issues in a safe place. To responsibly allow them to do so would not create violence. The violence that came out in their play in the play therapy room was a direct result of the violence they had experienced at home, and allowing them to process it through play enabled them to move through it towards a healthy resolution.

Do violent video games create violence? No. But children who are drawn to these games may be crying out for help due to violence and trauma experienced in real life.

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