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I have several issues with this question in the first place. I'll try to address this topic as completely as possible. The question "Should wives allow their men to watch porn movies?" kind of threw me off. Perhaps this would have been better phrased as "Should wives be bothered by their husbands' watching porn movies?".

In a marriage, the idea is not about allowing or not allowing your spouse to do something. That takes away a person's freedoms and rights as an individual, which can be a form of control, also a form of abuse. The simple fact is, we are all individuals, with separate desires and needs, and it's important to recognize that in any relationship, not just marriage.

To deny another person something that is, most of the time harmless, is rather shrewish and doesn't bode well for a marriage. Speaking your mind about your spouse's habits or actions is one thing. Ideally, your spouse would give consideration to your thoughts and feelings, and respect them. However, flat out "not allowing" someone to do something, is a major problem within a marriage, and can cause major problems.

If you aren't comfortable with something your spouse has done, or is doing, speak up! But don't badger him/her to death or try to lay guilt trips to get them to not do it. Also, think carefully, and ask yourself whether or not the issue is as major as you're wanting to make it.

For example, is it really that big of a deal if your husband watches porn, as long as he's not using it as a substitute for intimacy with you? Is it going to affect your marriage negatively if you were to "allow or not allow" him to watch it? If he's not addicted to porn, then is it truly that big of a deal?

If a spouse's interest in porn movies isn't a new, or sudden, thing, then I don't see why it should be a major cause for concern in a marriage. If both parties are able to communicate effectively, if one spouse isn't using porn as a replacement for intimacy with their partner, then there's no reason why a wife (or husband, for that matter!) should not "allow" their spouse to watch porn.

As long as the porn isn't illegal (ie, kiddie porn or extremely bizarre acts!), and the spouse isn't just newly interested in porn, I see no cause for concern if a man or woman wants to look at porn, and I don't think that the other spouse should feel insecure about it.

That being said, if a person truly doesn't want their spouse looking at porn, and feels very strongly about it, then I do think that the spouse should take into consideration and respect their partner's feelings on the matter. Marriage is all about compromise.

In this instance, porn isn't cheating- and, unless the spouse is addicted to porn- it shouldn't negatively affect a marriage. Keeping the lines of communication open, in this instance, like all others, is of utmost importance. Communication can help make sure that one spouse isn't doing something that will hurt, or otherwise negatively affect, the other.

Yes, wives should allow their husbands to look at porn, and husbands should allow their wives to look at porn, as long as both parties are comfortable with it. It's not cheating, and shouldn't be a problem as long as both spouses are open and honest about their feelings concerning the subject.
And for that matter, it shouldn't come down to what a wife will "allow" her husband to do or not do. Most adults resent being told what to do and what not to do. Trying to dictate what your husband should or shouldn't watch, might cause more of a problem than the porn itself would.

Learn more about this author, Julie Vincent.
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