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If children misbehave, do we chalk it up to the inexperience of the child, or do we point our fingers at the parents? Frankly, the answer is actually "it depends". For the purposes of this argument, however, we will assume the scale tips just slightly more in favor of the parents.

Why do children run wild in stores and in restaurants, where civilized people are trying to shop and eat? Because Mom and Dad haven't taught them that it is unacceptable behavior. Maybe they are distracted or overworked. Maybe for the first time ever, they couldn't find a sitter and have found themselves forced to take an unruly child where no unruly child should ever go. The excuses abound, but at the end of the day, the answer is the same. Mom and Dad didn't do their job.

Children are like sponges. They will soak up whatever they see or hear, and they will dutifully mirror it back...whether it is good or bad. People typically want to please other people. Children are people, so this also applies to them. If you combine the sponge-like quality of children, who are still learning how to navigate social situations, and the desire to please others, you will find yourself with a very volatile sponge. At the end of the day, will you wring out rosewater or sewage?

I've seen the evidence very literally in the offspring of my cousins. One cousin is and always has been loud, bawdy, rude, and inappropriate in just about every situation since birth. Her parents were before her, and now her children are after her. My other cousin was raised by a single mother that understood limits and boundaries and common decency, and her children reflect those values in their respectful behavior.

Too many parents leave the raising of their children to the village. And it is the wrong village. It is the village made up of television and pf the family next door or down the street...the family they never get to know and never check out in advance. It is the village that exists while they are absorbed in their own interests and their own matters rather than the thing that matters most. There is absolutely nothing wrong with family and friends being a big part of your child's life. Your child can and should take his or her life's lessons from multiple sources. The guiding light, however, should always be Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad should always be seen as the Ultimate Authority...before anyone or anything else. Otherwise, they only have themselves to blame.

Learn more about this author, Joanna S Kelley.
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