5 of 24

Write now Article Tools

To be honest, I am not entirely sure when I realized (for the first time) that I had a problem with shopping.

It could have been when I left the house one morning for a quick stop at Target to pick up a prescription and came home with over $300 in merchandise that I wanted but didn't need. It could have been when that mysterious, joyous excitement I felt while shopping wore off and I began to feel anxiety about the money I had just spent on my credit card.

It could have been when I bought a new computer, a very expensive mail organizer and a top-of-the-line digital camera all in one day, completely unplanned. Or it could have been the day I bought over $500 worth of clothes that I didn't even fit.

Actually, though, I think it was the day that I read Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella and didn't know whether to laugh or cry as I saw my future in the escapades of her heroine, Becky Bloomwood. It was just a matter of time before I graduated from filling closets to filling entire houses with enough stuff to stock a shopping district.

I don't fit into some of the stereotypes that surround a shopping disorder. I never stole anything so that I could shop, though I did use (plastic) money I didn't have. I never lied to anyone about what I had done or hid my purchases from anyone. I rarely take things back to the store.

While I won't go so far as to say that I have a disorder, I will admit that I may just be in denial. I think that I may have caught it early in myself, before it fully exploded. I have ceased all credit card use and am seeking the help of a qualified professional to help me figure out this and a few other issues. I have also been journaling in an attempt to determine what it is I really want...what it is I thought I'd find in the local mall. Acceptance? Intelligence? Success? Would I be cooler? Would I be more loved? Would I be less bored?

Since I began to realize that there were tinges of the unhealthy in my habits, I've done a lot of reading about the origin of addictions. No matter what type of addiction it may be, all have one thing in common: self-esteem. Addictive personalities are often seeking cures to things they cannot name and are not consciously aware of. Approval. Acceptance. Love. Power. Success. Sometimes even escape. Avoidance. Substitution of one thing for another.

Do I know the source of my woes just yet? No. Am I in recovery? Yes. Do I expect to ever be cured of the tendency to buy things that might mysteriously transform me into the person I want to be? No.

I do not begin to know anything about how to recover from such a disorder. That is better left to the professionals. I hope that this might serve as a cautionary tale. Do not be fooled by the lighthearted tone I have taken. A shopping addiction is very dangerous from a financial and from a mental health perspective. I would encourage anyone who sees a bit of themselves in me (or Becky Bloomwood, for that matter) to contact their local chapter of Debtor's Anonymous. Let the spending stop, and let the healing begin!

Learn more about this author, Joanna S Kelley.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about When shopping turns into a shopping disorder?
We want to hear your view. Write now!