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There is an epidemic in this country of people buying stuff they can't afford with money they don't have. One could easily make a case for the idea that most Americans have a shopping disorder. We have negative savings and the highest individual debt ever. Credit card defaults and bankruptcies are soaring as are housing foreclosures.

This is a kind of national insanity that will be cured by the natural results of this indebtedness, bankruptcy and/or homelessness.

But a real shopping disorder is a serious addiction with many of the same symptoms and consequences as any drug or alcohol addiction. And there are 12-step programs for this addiction.

One big misunderstanding about this addiction is that it is about "having." Most people who spend more money than they can afford are following an impulse to possess certain things. The true addict is not addicted to having, but to buying. A female relative of mine would buy thousands of dollars worth of clothing and then send most of it back, keeping some of it, usually still in the original boxes, in her closet.

It is the buying that is the addiction, not the possessing. This woman never wore any of the expensive clothes or shoes she bought. In fact she usually wore jeans and a sweatshirt. I never saw her dressed up except at her wedding.

Another sign of addiction, which is exactly the same as any substance addition, is that the addict will do whatever is necessary to get the money to support the addiction. When this relative lived at home, she stole from her parents, using their credit cards to make purchases. In fact they finally threw her out of the house.

After marrying into our family, she took over her father-in-laws finances to "help him out." He was having trouble with his memory because of previous cancer treatments and she agreed to take over his paycheck, pay his bills, and give him an "allowance." Instead, she used his paycheck to buy more clothes.

By the time he found out, he was in serious trouble, with many bills in arrears and his credit shot. Denial is a sure sign of addiction. This woman, to this day, does not understand why everyone is mad at her. Aside from the serious economic damage she did to her father-in-law, there were also health consequences due to the stress of the situation in which he found himself.

If addicts only harmed themselves, that would be fine, but it is the nature of addiction that it harms everyone close to you. Because of denial, however, it is very difficult to get the shopping addict to seek help. Unchecked, they will continue to harm others, usually those closest to them, until they are finally thrown out of the family altogether or get in trouble with the law.

A true shopping addiction needs to be treated the same as any other kind of addiction. An intervention may be required because it is unlikely that a shopping addict will simply snap out of it. Jail is a common solution as these addicts will steal from friends and family and sometimes steal directly from stores.

Buying things you don't need with money you don't have may not indicate a shopping disorder, but it certainly indicates extreme stupidity and there will be consequences.

Learn more about this author, Bob Trowbridge.
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