2 of 22

Write now Article Tools

We have all witnessed an adult tantrum, and in all likelihood we've all had one! While watching an adult lose it, even if only for a few minutes can be shocking, humorous or a combination; they are usually a symptom of much deeper issues.

Tantrums are based on anxiety, unresolved hurt, frustration and fear. When a small child has a tantrum, the nearest adult typically rushes to their side and scoops them into their arms, yelling, What's wrong?' When little Johnny/Jane continues to scream incoherently, the adult seeks to soothe them. If this doesn't work and the child begins to throw things, kick or hit, the adult may give them a time out. Let me tell you, there are lessons to learn from watching children's temper tantrums!

Tantrums in adults are attention seeking behaviours. The old saying is true; when an adult can't receive positive attention, in desperation they will settle for negative. A tantrum is a desperate inappropriate personal attempt at validation. While we all need to be heard and understood, tantrums only seek to alienate the people we want and need in our lives.

The best defense against an adult tantrum is a proactive defense. Alternatively one can remove said adult from one's life until that adult learns there is no value in victimising you as their audience. Tantrums are a child's behaviour pattern and adults should be able to talk things though even if they first need a temporary time out themselves!

Asking what's wrong' to an adult in the throws of a tantrum, rarely works. In fact the tantrum is made up of so many factors or experiences that the adult experiencing one, probably can't verbalize the true reason. Wait until the calm down, or you risk verbal abuse and having someone's skewered view of reality thrown at you. When they can't or won't calm down enough to talk like adults, remove yourself immediately. Walk away, go to another room in the house, or get in the car and leave.

Encountering adult tantrums is becoming commonplace. The term going postal' no longer applies to post office workers losing it due to stress. Computer Programmers, Call Center employee's, Banking Officers and Customer Service personnel are all at high risk of encountering adult tantrums or having one themselves! Security companies are one of the fastest growing industries, people need to be protected at work more than ever before.

Many work places now provide detailed information on how to handle difficult people, and in turn many work places have zero tolerance for tantrums. Learning to recognize the warning signs of tantrums such as; bulging eyes, getting red in the face, short clipped speech, and uneasy body language is key. If you start to feel any of this yourself, take a deep breath, have a glass of water, take a walk or ask your employer for a 10 minute personal break.

Life is fast paced and frustrating, and despite our best efforts we will meet someone who has short circuited. Always remember; while we can either remove or diffuse someone who is having a tantrum, the most important thing is never to let it touch us. The only thing we can truly control is our reaction to the adult tantrum through our own emotions.

Make yours positive!

Learn more about this author, Melissa D. Ing.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Dealing with adult tantrums?
We want to hear your view. Write now!