Search Helium

Home > Creative Writing > Humor

Humor: Cell phones

by Alan Bonnici

Created on: February 26, 2008

I was promoted to write down this article after being witness to a complete stranger's loss of a cell phone. The teenager went berserk; completely out of her mind, first panicking viciously, and then weeping at the loss of this electronic darling. I very much doubt she would have demonstrated the same emotion at the loss of a close relative.

Since the loss was discovered at the initial stage of a rather lengthy bus journey I was able to witness the story evolve. I offered my cell phone to this tragedy stricken person and suggested that she dial her number in the hope that someone answers the other end and the matter would be near a happy ending. Unfortunately, an automated reply informed that the phone may be switched off. Oh dear! I asked if she would like to call home just in case she had left it at home. "Impossible", came the answer, "My cell phone is my constant companion, it is never more than an arms length away; where I go it goes." That morning she had it in the morning and had placed it in her bag on her way to the bus stop. It was a rushed morning because she had woken up later than usual but that was not really new news.

Each time she stopped talking she probably started thinking about the phone and that meant re-emptying the contents of her bag on our laps, looking in every zippered pocket (it is incredible the amount of additional storage that comes on these things), and re-inspected every item before throwing it back into her bag. All this carried a soundtrack of mumblings, weeping, swearing and garbling with an occasional few seconds of hysteria.

This sincere demonstration of worry prompted me to enquire as to whether the phone was one of a designer top-of-the-line, gold plated and diamond studded limited models that had cost the girl a kidney and the next 50 years of her earning potential. Actually my question was, "Did it cost a lot?" The reply was that is was not, it was a pink, average, Motorola phone. Replacing it was not going to break the bank. I took this reply rather personally. "So why are you making such an issue? As if your life depended on it." MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT came the scarlet faced reply.

I never realised dialyses machines, artificial lungs and cardio machines had become so compact and had become multifunction serving as text, image and voice communication devices when not being put to life dependent use. Since I had not even gotten to the stage where I knew this person's name I simply asked her to elaborate. "All my friends

87008

Featured Partner

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA)

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has partnered with Helium, giving you the chance to write for a cause. Browse PETA's featured titles, pick an issue and write! You can also donate your article earnings. S...more


CONNECT WITH US

Read
our blog
Helum for writers

Write and get published
Share with other writers
Polish your freelancing skills

Join our active writing community
Helium Content Source for Publishers

Quality articles from proven freelancers
Exclusive rights, fast turnaround
Brand engagement, business blogging -- our writers do it all

Get custom content today!

INFORMATION


Helium, Inc.
200 Brickstone Square Andover, MA 01810 USA
#