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Adolescence

Tips for parents: Disciplining teens

My daughter is only ten months old, and already I am trying to find out as much as I can about teenage discipline. What kind of discipline will I use? How will I keep the lines of communication open? How can I be fair but firm?

Each day is a stepping stone to her future, and each day is a brand new opportunity of self discovery. What I do now, entirely affects what I will soon be dealing with and how I deal with it. One thing I noticed with many parents I've met, is that they are convinced that the 'child' is the problem. Not taking into consideration that the child is mirroring their exact behavior. For example, a child who is disrespectful of others feelings, uses fowl language and tells lies, is usually coming from the environment in which they live.

Based on my own experiences as a teenager, I realize that it is natural for a teenager to stretch the rules and push boundaries a step further. Just to see how far a parent will slide, and how far we can wander into those restricted areas. The rules my parents enforced with my older siblings, with some effort on my part, had been changed with a little persuasion. As soon as I realized I could break the rules with no consequences, it became a habit.

Also, it became alot easier for me when I realized that my parents did not present a united front. It is easily recognized and just as easily taken advantage of.

Why is teenage rebellion so common? Adolescence is scary. I remember trying so hard to fit in, that I even changed my entire personality around different groups of people. Torn between what was right and what was wrong. I was a natural follower, and unfortunately ended up in the wrong crowd. My grades began to slip, as I began to skip classes. My relationships with other people, including friends and boyfriends had a huge impact on the direction my life was taking. It was obvious, I didn't like being in control even when I had that power. I disliked making decisions and let other people make them for me.

Teenagers don't always make the right decisions, and the last thing they want is to be lectured about it.
The best gift you can give is open ears and closed lips.

Learn more about this author, Michelle Arthurs.
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