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how you symbolically portrayed the creation of a brand new entity, the union of you and your partner. The candle in the middle is bigger because with the joining of you and your partner you have created one much stronger, more powerful identity than either one of you could be on your own.

After lighting the middle candle you, again symbolically, blow out your partner's candle and he/she blows out yours. This is not the extinguishing of your individual identity; rather this is the signal to the world that you no longer hold yourself as the most important priority in your life. You now hold your union as the one highest priority. The celebration you have just shared is your outward proclamation to the world that you have become as one with each other. Individual and personal desires now take second place to the desires and needs of the union.

Getting married, going through the Unity Candle celebration, blowing out your own individual candles are all public signs that you want to "cleave" with this person you have selected. You want to become every bit as much a part of their life as you want them to become a part of your life.

When the partner who is already capable of cheating realizes they have publicly forsaken their individual needs and selfish desires for the sake of the blessed union they have just created, they feel a weight of responsibility. They may not be ready for the responsibility of one mate, one life and one shared desire. If they are not ready for the responsibility they are not ready for you; they were not prepared to give themselves entirely over to the new union.

The doubting partner will ponder the real meaning of the Unity Candle, they will remember their glorified single days and they will regret their decision. They know they enjoy being with you, they want to be with you, but they just do not want to be entirely with you. They are hungry for something from their single days. They need the freedom and the independence simply to survive day after day.

Any doubting of the Unity Candle, the wedding vows or anything in the wedding ceremony, is your very first sign of trouble coming; beware!

Learn more about this author, Gary Maclean.
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