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and cannot be prevented, so perhaps it would have happened regardless. But I know for a certainty, that that mother wishes she had held her baby more and had tried more diligently to sooth his cries.

Fast-forward 10 years.

I gave birth to my 4th child, an adorable baby girl. I was awakened at 4:30 a.m. on October 1, 1987 with a warm flood soaking my sheets. My water had broken for the first time by itself. By 7:30 a.m. I was in hard labor. At 7:42 the Whittier, California earthquake hit just a few miles away from the hospital. I thought I was just having a really powerful contraction.

Unlike my other children, for the first 2 months of her life the only thing that ever consoled this new little one was being in my arms. I tried everything to sooth her cries, a baby swing, a mobile over her crib, music of all kinds, but no matter how much she had been fed, or burped, or cuddled, or rocked, the minute I laid her down, the crying would begin. There were nights I had to let her cry herself to sleep because I was completely exhausted. But for the most part, I catered to her need to be held, and thank God I did, because at 3 months and 4 days old she, like the baby from my first story, died of SIDS.

My first child's pediatrician was one of the wisest doctor's ever. I asked him once about letting my son cry himself to sleep, and he reinforced what my instinct had already told me; it's impossible to spoil a baby, so habitually letting a him cry himself to sleep may have more negative long term effects. His nurse always disagreed with him and privately took me aside to tell me what she thought. I'm happy I didn't take her advice.

Our babies are only babies for a whisper in time, and then they are off having babies of their own. We owe it to them to nurture them in every way possible during their helpless state of infancy, and then as they grow, teach them respect, integrity, discipline and compassion. If a baby is given the emotional support, which may require many hours of lost sleep for parents, as well as having his physical needs met during infancy, his chances of growing into a happy and balanced toddler, and then healthy adolescent are great.

Learn more about this author, Janonda.
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