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I honestly feel I have an unfair advantage regarding this topic, and although I hesitate, I'm going to pull out all the stops and share why I believe allowing your child to cry himself to sleep, especially if you're doing it because you don't want to spoil them by giving them too much attention, is a very bad idea.

Believe me, I do understand that sometimes babies just won't stop crying. They've been fed, burped, changed, cuddled, rocked, and kissed and nothing you do helps. If they aren't running a fever, indicating something physical could be wrong, sometimes, I concede, we have no choice but to allow them to cry until they fall asleep from exhaustion.

However, the old school of thought which says it's okay to routinely allow a baby to cry himslef to sleep because you don't want to cater to his demands for attention, is incredibly outdated and inaccurate. It's impossible to spoil a baby. When they get older things change, of course. But babies don't have the reasoning skills required to manipulate getting attention. If a baby is crying, he has a need of some kind, and if that need is comforting arms, then be compassionate enough to supply them. If we can't identify what that need is after trying everything we know to do, then there may be an underlying issue that needs to be explored, especially if the crying is chronic and goes on for long periods of time. It's important in those cases to contact your pediatrician for advice.

Now, to pull out the big guns:

I'm going to relate two stories, which happened about 10 years apart. The first story involved a lady I went to church with. She had recently given birth to her 4th child, a son, and even though she was a wonderful woman and a good mother, she came from the old school. Not only did she allow her baby to cry himself to sleep, but also, his crib was in the basement out of her earshot so she wouldn't be tempted to pick him up every time he cried.

I happened to be at her house one evening working on a church project and I could here her little one screaming in the basement. I didn't have any kids at the time, so had no wisdom regarding such things, but I asked her if she wanted to go get him. She answered no, that he just needed to cry himself to sleep.

The following Sunday I didn't see her at church. I soon learned that the very night I had been at her house, her baby had died of SIDS, Sudden infant Death Syndrome, or crib death as it is more often called. I understand that the process of SIDS is still unexplained

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