by Tot's Mom

Created on: February 24, 2008   Last Updated: January 19, 2009

Gays adopting children is controversial because society in general have not fully resolve and accept such a lifestyle to begin with. If we believe that a gay lifestyle is right, natural and acceptable, then it follows that gays raising children should not be an issue. But if most of us think otherwise, then allowing gays to adopt kids would naturally raise strong objections from the people at large.

The pros and cons of gays adopting children have already been well debated by various parties. Of course gays can also make wonderful parents and have an equal potential to provide love, comfort and security at home for children to grow like straight couples can. Maybe to some, this is the most important criteria in the qualification for the adoption of children. As long as the kid is happy in a loving home, they argue, that is sufficient and a couple's sexual orientation should not matter at all. This is indeed a very convincing argument.

And the fact that many heterosexual couples make bad parents further strengthen the argument for lesbian and gay adoption rights. But on the other side of the coin, we also need to look at the big picture. If we allow gay marriages and adoption of children by such couples, then we might also need to educate all of our children that a gay lifestyle is acceptable, natural and rightful. Otherwise, how can we allow and legalize something that is wrong? The interesting question is how many parents are willing to do that at the moment?

Furthermore, societal norms and religions still play very important roles in our lives at present. If the majority of people still subscribe to these norms and beliefs which happened to frown upon homosexuality, then it is indeed difficult and perhaps, unfair to expect the majority to close one eye and allow gays their rights. The Western world may place high emphasis on individual rights and freedom, but sometimes, recognizing those rights do have far reaching implications for the society in general, and this is when caution may be called for.

Having said that, societal norms, belief system, values and moral standards change over time. They evolve and it may well be that one day gay marriages will be fully recognize by everyone as part of the traditional marriage institution and with it, they will be granted all the rights that come with it, including the right to adopt and raise children. But in the mean time, if the majority still finds a gay lifestyle repulsive and immoral, then it is hard to expect them to discard conventions, norms and mainstream beliefs just so the gay minority can be allowed to adopt and be recognized as a natural family unit.

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