In 1991, my husbands youngest son called and stated that he came home from work and found his girlfriend stabbed 22 times lying on the floor with their baby daughter close by. In 1998, my stepson was arrested for that murder of his girlfriend. NOW is when my whole world was turned upside down. I had to turn to my inner strength and God to help me just make it from one day to the next. It still gets a little bit more difficult for me in that my stepson asked my husband and I to fly out and pick up my Grandson who was four and a half. My husband asked me if I could take care of this little tyke. There wasn't a bit of hesitation in my soul. This boy needed me. Oh, and by the way, I have never had children of my own.

We were being transferred from Idaho to Virginia at the time and had a long drive ahead of us. I had only had Andrew for two days. I was 44 years old and going through the change of life, not a fun thing to be happening when I had a 4 and a 1/2 year old that was eventually diagnosed with AD/HD. I had also been diagnosed as Bi-Polar. And so, Andrew's and my
journey began. At this stage I found inner strength that I held on to with dear life. Its that inner strength and God who are going to give me the answers I need to go on.
Being from the old school, Andrew had a lot of adjustments to go through when it came to the disciplining as he hadn't had very much of that with his Dad. It was rough trying to explain to Andrew that he was going to be with us a lot longer than the two weeks he was told he would be with my husband and I. Andrew was a very difficult child to handle and was in trouble constant in school and the first thing we had to work on was when he didn't like something the teacher asked him to do, he would attack her. He misbehaved on the bus an would hit girls and eventually got kicked off the bus.

One of the most difficult things to do with Andrew was trying to explain to him where his Dad was and when he was coming to get him. My answer for Andrew for 19 months was that his Dad was on a very important job in Arizona and it was going to help him and his Dad financially and help them get a house ( something very important to Andrew ). Andrew seemed to do well with this answer although he was going through so much trauma as I was, trying to care for Andrew and make it through my depression and the change. I also was drinking quite heavily.

Now it is time for the trial of my husband's son for First Degree Murder. Where was I going to get the strength to get through all of this. Just where I ask? The trial was in October of 1999 and Mike was acquitted of all charges and he came to live with my husband and I. We are living in a 38 foot Recreational Vehicle. Some days I would just talk to anyone that would listen.

All of us made it through and not with flying colors. All of us have been scarred for life.

Again I say, you must turn to your inner strength and all of us have it. I had no choice but to turn to that strength and God.

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