by Morgan Drake Eckstein

Created on: February 23, 2008

There are certain fates that a wise man knows will seriously hurt them. These fates one should avoid. For me, winning the lottery would be one of those cruel fates. Winning the lottery would be like unleashing locusts into the fertile fields of Egypt.

First, there would be the unwelcome relatives. Especially unwelcome would be those that have quit talking to me because my choice of religion or profession, or fall silent because I was ostracized from the family. It would be better that totally new, long lost relatives show up than the relatives I grew up with. With strangers, I wouldn't have the emotional baggage of the past to contend with.

Especially damaging would be my mother. She has never approved of anything I have ever done with my life, and several of my siblings have followed her lead in ostracizing me. But given a large enough pile of money, she would suddenly decide that I was her favorite son despite having disowned me years ago.

The greatest danger would not be her maneuverings to try to gain control of the prize. In fact, fighting to remain in control of my own finances would be a blessing. No, it is the fact that she is the source of the negative voices in my head that would be the biggest danger from her. And being close to her would make the voices as loud as thunder.

None of my other relatives would be as bad. My siblings who had not talked to me in years I could easily cope with compared to her. The same holds true for my father-in-law who considers me a "hippy freeloader."

I must admit that my father-in-law's opinion of me is true in a sense. While made because he doesn't understand my choice of profession, or choice to become a nontraditional student, it is a true bead on my character. Let's be honest if I won the lottery, I would be lazy.

I don't like it, but it is true. Given a fortune, I would sit around and do nothing. Oh, I would like to claim that I would work on the "Great American Novel" and other important work. But honestly, given the option, I am a slacker. I work because I have to.

Or at least, that is what I fear. It might not be true. Maybe if Lady Fortune smiled upon me, I would finish college and write that best selling novel. I like to tell myself that I am not really lazy, that given luck that I would use it to my advantage. But given my past, it is better that I don't have to test my mettle in such a fashion.

And I would pray to Lady Luck that she never allow me to win the lottery; except I am lazy and considering I quit playing the lottery years ago, it would be a rather pointless prayer. After all, the easiest way to ensure that you don't win the lottery is to not buy the ticket in the first place.

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