Ever been on an elevator and someone behind you made you feel uncomfortable? A friend of a friend of mine (yes, this is one of 'those' type of stories) had quite the embarrassing experience some years ago... (parties will remain nameless!)

A middle aged couple from a small Midwestern town won a trip to Vegas. The kids were finally grown, they had a little rainy day money saved, and decided to turn their 3 day 2 night stay into a week's vacation, play a little slots, and maybe parlay their pocket cash into a respectable nest egg.

As it would happen, they broke about even for the first six days. The next morning the wife hit the jackpot on a mega machine and the payout was nearly ten thousand dollars. They cashed out, oohing and ahhing at the hefty stack of bills, then decided to 'get while the getting was good'. They went to their room to pack, stowing the bundle of cash in the wife's purse; then the husband went down to the restaurant to order breakfast while she lingered to use the ladies' room.

Afterward she headed for the elevator with her purse clutched tightly in both hands. When she entered the elevator, there were already three people on board; two extremely tall, muscular men in gray suits and a very short, bald man in dapper blue attire.

The poor housewife was uncomfortable about being alone in the car with three strange men, but her husband was waiting. She nervously turned her back on the three occupants and bit her lip as the doors shut. Suddenly she heard a deep voice from behind her:

"Hit the floor, lady."

Down with her face in the carpet she went, her purse spinning to the corner of the cabin, her arms out flung, hugging the floor. There was complete silence, then a funny choking sound.

The noise grew into a gasping, coughing howl, and she dared a glance up over her shoulder. The little man was bent over with his hands on his knees, laughing helplessly, tears in his eyes as he struggled for air. The two taller men were desperately trying to keep straight faces, but broke down completely at the sight of the wild-eyed woman on the floor. One of them punched a finger at the control panel and managed,

"I meant, h-hit the F-FLOOR, ma-am-"

The lady picked herself up and straightened her clothes with great dignity. One of the men in gray suits handed her back her purse, and she pushed the lobby button with a shaking hand. When the elevator hit the ground floor she exited the cabin without a word, and joined her husband in the restaurant, planning to say nothing to him of the elevator incident.

When they went to check-out, however, they were informed that their bill had been settled in full. The cashier handed them the receipt along with a blue cocktail napkin. Scrawled across it were these words:

"Thanks for the best 30 seconds I've had in a long time, and some of the best material I could ever have hoped for. It was worth every penny." It was signed by the short, bald man - one of Vegas' lead headliners.

Learn more about this author, Grace Alexander.
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