by Linda G. Hull

Created on: February 23, 2008

The death of a loved one is traumatic, but when a loved one dies without having made provision for the dissolution of their estate, the loved one's passing becomes catastrophic to family relationships. The tips that follow will provide understanding of the necessity of formulating a plan and provide some viable means of distributing the contents of an estate.

The Necessity of Formulating a Plan

Without a will, there is a likelihood that broken relationships between family members will occur. Good memories of the deceased are tarnished. Resentment and anger builds when conflict erupts. Bitterness sets in, especially if family and friends encouraged the deceased to make a will and the deceased neglected to do so. It's also very embarrassing to have to admit to the world that there are some items one had one's eye on. Keep in mind that when siblings are married, then the desires of the spouse and the children also come into play to further influence decisions. Following are some examples of what can happen.

A few years ago a family struggled to remember their mother's wishes regarding her personal possessions. All had their own perspective of what the mother had intended or promised. No one could be sure that mother's wishes were being carried out or determine if the beneficiary was being self-serving. Conflict ensued because the mother made promises without witnesses present. The executor clouded the issues more when he decided that everyone should write down what they wanted, hoping to avoid further conflict. Unfortunately, then he had to decide between recipients who both wanted a specific item. Hurt feelings resulted.

Another family struggled when their father passed away. He had remarried so his widow naturally assumed all of the estate belonged to her. A will was not found, even though family members believed one had been made. Items that belonged to his first wife that should have gone to her children were distributed to the widow and her children from a previous marriage. Needless to say, the conflict was bitter and relationships permanently estranged.

When Grandma moved in with family, Grandma's possessions were packed in boxes and put in the garage. Years later, the boxes had sat for so long, that no one remembered what was in them. It became easier just to throw them away. Who knows what treasures lay hidden and forgotten?

We've all heard stories of family members who rush to the ancestral home after the funeral to take what they want. An old family story

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