Teen Sex in Committed Relationships

I'm a member of a number of parenting groups and often times I get criticized for some of my opinions. Recently a mom wrote about her terror when she found out her 15 yr old daughter was sexually active. So I say is there a magic age when sex is ok? Obviously there are alot of issues both sexually active teens and adults need to be concerned with, STD's and pregnancy being the most serious. But these are issues we all need to think about regardless of age.

In my discussions, i find it interesting that parents accept their child will probably masturbate, but they are shocked at the thought of providing sex aids to teens. Many parents think that 14 is too young to have sex but at 16 it gets more acceptable, and at 18 even more acceptable, oh but "not in my house." What's with these magic ages? Many parents still would like to see their children to remain virgins until marriage however most accept the fact that it won't happen, but these parents also provide tight supervision to reduce the opportunities their teens have to be sexually active.

So here's what I think....I think sexuality is a part of any serious relationship, just a part, not the most important part. A relationship should be built on common interests, trust, honesty, chemistry, and a deep caring for the other person...and good sex. Sex does not make a relationship work but the physical committment can make a relationship a truly wonderful one, regardless of age.

It's obvious that as we all get older we are not the same person at 30 or 40 that we were at 15. We all evolve and in many cases the person we love at 15 is not the one we love at 40. But being in love and sharing ourselves with our partner in our teen years is part of one's life experience and influences who we become as we are older.

My 15 year old daughter is in a very committed loving relationship. I highly doubt that this is the same love she will feel at 25 or 30 but for her it is love as she knows it now. Her boyfriend and her are happy to sit and just talk for hours, or study together or being together with their friends. Their lives are not centered around sex but it has become a part of their relationship. To see them walking down the street, talking and holding hands, it's obvious that they have bond which works for them at their ages. I don't try to supervise them, on the other hand there are times when I give them their private time together. They are respectful when they are here and keep their sexuality to the privacy of the bedroom, just as I've always done with my past partners.

Will this relationship last forever? I doubt it will, but then again you never know. But for now they are very happy together, there is no concern with STD's, and she is on birth control which the gyn states is 99.9 % effective. They are safe they are happy and they are learning about how wonderful relationships can be, which I think will guide them well as they get older.

Learn more about this author, Barb Jackson.
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