by Belinda Beasley

Created on: February 23, 2008

When I think of a home, I think of a place that I can consider a refuge from the hustle and bustle and stresses of life. All too often in this day and age, I suspect that many of our houses are just houses and not truly homes. I think that we often get so focused on landing the next big account, being the best volunteer mom at school, or finding another job which will pay us more money that we forget about nurturing the relationships that we have within the walls of our houses.

I recently heard a popular daytime television talk show host say that relationships are like gardens; if you don't feed and water the plants, and nurture them, they will wither away and die. Relationships are the same way; they must be nurtured and tended in order to flourish and thrive. Nurturing relationships takes work, time, and patience, and in this age of hurry and bustle, many of use are unwilling to take the time to properly nourish our relationships. Houses aren't sanctuaries and places of refuge from the world. Instead, the walls of houses may become battlegrounds and places where we feel stressed and uncomfortable.

In the past, I lived in a house that was truly a home. The house itself was not a great house, and I didn't really like it, but yet, when I was in that house, I felt very much at home and comfortable. My husband and I fixed some of the unfortunate "improvements" that the previous owners had made, and we decorated that simple ranch style house to our taste. All of these things helped to make the house feel like home, of course, but more importantly, we were happy there. Our girls were doing well in school and had many friends. We attended a church that we loved, and my husband and I had friends as well. To some, our social life may have looked rather anemic, but it was simple and honest, and we enjoyed just spending time with our friends. When we would arrive home after attending a church meeting or some other event, I would often comment about how warm and cozy our home felt. Life wasn't perfect during that time, but we were happy and were actively nurturing our family relationships.

Unfortunately, those times didn't last, and I no longer live in that home. In fact, in the past decade or so, I have lived in a great house, but it wasn't a home. After experiencing such happy times in our simple ranch style house in my home state, my husband's job transferred us to another state, and that's when things began to fall apart. I loved my house in the new state, but often

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