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I enjoy a good bad movie. I like to sit down with the wife and comment on how incredibly bad the film is with her. This is one of the things that helps make our marriage great. However, there are some movies that we can't really bring ourselves to watch well, not more than once at least.

In no particular order I present some of my least favorite movies:

"Ishtar"

Everyone knew this movie was going to be bad from the start. It was over-budget, released extremely late, and had a lackluster script or so the critics said. But, I had to see it for myself. Upon sitting through this, all I could say was "Shame on you Dustin and Warren! You guys have won Oscars and this is what you do with your careers. Shame, shame, shame."

"Zombie Honeymoon"
I'm not sure if this movie was meant to be a love story, a horror film, or a comedy because it failed at all three categories. It should not be viewed by anyone of course, now that I've said this I imagine everyone's going to rush out and get it. Don't say I didn't warn you!

"Pink Flamingos"
John Waters ("Serial Mom" and the original "Hairspray") delivers this movie that kind of reminds me of a combination of "Natural Born Killers" and a piece of road kill that has been on the side of the road just long enough to gather the maggots, but not enough to where it's melded with the earth. It's supposed to be a cult classic, but I'm hoping that this particular cult committed mass suicide a few years back.

"Batman Forever/Batman & Robin"
More reasons why Joel Schumacher needs to stop making films. I honestly think that he was trying to get away from the whole "dark" Dark Knight that Tim Burton created and tried to return the movie to its campy Adam West roots. All it needed was bat shark repellant to make it perfect.

"Jason Goes to Hell"
The wife and I could never get enough of the Friday the 13th franchise, so when we saw this movie available for five bucks at the video store we scooped it up big mistake. Now, we know that the Jason movies aren't exactly quality cinema, but these made the rest of them look GOOD.

"Killer Klowns from Outer Space"
Clowns scare me. Evil alien clowns REALLY scare me.

"The Rock"
Sure, it has Academy Award winners Nicholas Cage and Sean Connery in it, but it's also produced by Jerry Bruckheimer. Most people might consider it entertaining, but since my last job was dealing with chemical weapons (no, really it was) I saw too many flaws in the plot.

"Armageddon"
Jerry Bruckheimer decided to take on the whole big rock flying to earth to destroy all life genre. As usual he cast nothing but A-list actors with B-list lines. It did feature some nifty special effects and you got to see Paris get destroyed, so it wasn't all bad.

"Top Gun"
You're probably starting to think I have a problem with Jerry Bruckheimer and you're right. Nothing this guy ever touches (including "CSI") is worth watching. Now, some say that this movie is a great emotional journey where Tom Cruise's "Maverick" character goes from extreme highs (getting into Top Gun), to extreme lows (losing his best friend, "Goose), to extreme highs (getting shoot down Commie pilots) to extreme lows (realizing that he's dating Kelly McGinnis). However, I would say that it's none of that. It's just a bizarrely inaccurate look at Navy Pilots with far too many homosexual overtones not that there's anything wrong with that.

So, the next time you feel like grabbing some popcorn and relaxing with a good film, please avoid the titles above or at least make sure you have some strong alcohol to go with that popcorn!

Learn more about this author, David Furritus.
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