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doctors. Even if you have called these numbers a thousand times, we tend to forget such things during times of extreme distress. Include the phone number to the local woman's shelter and the Department of Public Welfare. Both of these agencies have an abundance of very helpful resources. It's a good idea to have your banking information.

Make sure you make a copy of your house and car keys, and any other keys you might need. If your abuser realizes you're intention to leave, I can't imagine them tossing you the keys.

Set aside money. I know this is hard to do. They key is to do it a little at a time, a few dollars here or some spare change there. I wouldn't recommend the disappearance of large amounts of money. That could spark quite a fire.

Pack a few days supply of medication, but not more than you need in the meantime. You can always call your doctor and explain your situation, and he will likely write another prescription. But you should be prepared, in case you leave suddenly in the middle of the night, and can't get your medication for a day or two.

Other things you will need are your toiletries and a few days worth of clothing. Remember not to try to pack to much as to arouse suspicion.

Now you are ready to leave when the time comes. If you have to leave in a hurry, you have a few things to get you started on not making a return.

If you are able to leave while your abuser is at work or not at home, do not leave a "Dear John" letter. The minute your abuser realizes why you're gone, they will be hounding everyone they know who knows you. Buy some "quiet" time and leave your abuser to wonder for a while, before making the connection.

Plan ahead to go somewhere where your abuser will not look for you. This is sometimes not possible. I highly recommend just going directly to a women's shelter. Your safety is guaranteed there. You should not tell anyone at all where you plan to go or where you are once you are there. Your abuser may be very good at manipulating others to reveal your whereabouts. Be sure to call your family and friends and simply tell them that you are all right, that you are in a safe place, and that you will keep in touch with them. Leave them no information they might possibly divulge.

Some people get this far, but they go back. If you really want to start a new, fresh life, it is imperative that you have absolutely no contact with your abuser again. Leave it to the court system. Apply for a PFA. Let the lawyers talk. Once you initiate any contact with your abuser, two things happen. Your credibility is compromised should you need the assistance from the police or other agencies, and your abuser again has the opportunity to exhort some of that control again.

If you are employed, alert your employer to your situation so they can be prepared for a possible situation. If you are not employed, now is a great time to find a new job to compliment your new found freedom.

So, you've made the Great Escape. What is the Sweetest Revenge? Never looking back. Ever. My abuser told me I could never do anything on my own. Sixteen years later, I have everything he said I'd never have without him. It's sweet!

Learn more about this author, Michelle Black.
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