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I confess. I am a parent of a child that had cavities. It is tough to admit, as it feels like a failure as a parent. We have a few theories for how she developed cavities including a milk allergy, not brushing well enough, my husband giving her something to drink at bedtime, grandpa and grandma giving her sugary gum as treats not sugar free, and so on. It didn't erase that we were going to have to see a dentist.

We first took her to our regular family dentist and he was going to try to fix the cavity. It became clear fairly early that she was not going to tolerate his procedures. He came out and he gave me the best piece of advice a dentist can give. "You need to go see a pediatric dentist." My other kids never had cavities and I didn't even know there was a pediatric dentist in town. I was surprised to find that there was a pediatric dentist right down the hall in the same building.

Our dentist gave us a referral and I walked down the hall and made the first of several appointments, but it was the best decision. This is what I have learned about preparing a child for the dental experience.

1) Choose a pediatric dentist. Their entire office and facility is set up for children. This particular dentist would see patients up to age 17. The waiting room is set up with games, puzzles, books, videos, and child size furniture. It sets the tone right from the beginning that this is a place that I want to be. The staff is used to working with kids and knows perfectly how to make the experience a positive one. My dentist was afraid that he would make her afraid of coming to the dentist and that is why he referred her. I am grateful for his wisdom. When my daughter had procedures done, she was able to bring a DVD from home to help keep her comfortable. In the proceeding visits she would happily go with the dental assistant, smiling when she went in and smiling when she came out.

2) Explain to the child that the child is very lucky to go to this dentist because he loves kids. It is a fun place and the child will probably see a lot of other kids there too.

3)Do a pretend examination at home. The parent can play the dentist first and using a popsicle stick or such examine the teeth. Say silly comments like "Oh my, yes! These are just a wonderful set of chompers!" Then take a reverse role and let the child examine your teeth as if he/she was the dentist.

4) Do a good job brushing and flossing. The dentist will probably ask the child if he/she does these tasks regularly. Talk about

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