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Inheritance is you're legacy. A gift if you will to leave to those who mean the most to you in this brief time we call life. It does seem like much more fun to give the gift of your legacy to those while you are still alive to see the pleasure in their faces, but to me legacy is what you leave behind, not in front.
When my children are grown, of course my son will get my engagement and wedding ring to give to his bride to be, my pearls my father gave me on my graduation day will go to my daughter as a gift of something old for her wedding day, but there are things that when I pass on will be given to them, and not before.

I want them to cherish the things their mother/grandmother gives them, something to remember me by.

I would feel horribly embarrassed if my journals were given to my children before I kicked the bucket, but I do want them to have them after I'm gone. I want them to know every moment that I spent with them how dearly vexing they are...I'm just joking. No I want them to know how much I loved them and will love them from now to the end.

But now we are talking of financial aid. Well, I have been broke a church mouse, I have been sleepless with worry about how I could make a minimum payment, and I never once got any help. If my children needed money, and it was a life or death thing, yes I would help them out, but they would have to be very desperate. Struggle blooms wisdom. As much as I love my children, they will not grow, unless they struggle a bit. Nothing in this world is for free, not even things that are advertised as Free! are free. There is always a catch, and this is a valuable lesson a child/adult needs to learn.
Receiving help financially every time you fall will teach you only to go to mommy and daddy like you were five again and you fell off your bike. Sometimes tough love is exactly what is needed.

Now saying that I will be this way and doing it this way are two completely different notions. I'm not sure how I will handle a cry of help from my grown children when it comes down to it, but I do know that my parents never had help, and neither has my husband and I received money from family, and honestly we are doing just fine. We are closer, and stronger for the financial obstacles we face, and I'm grateful for the chance to stand on my own two feet.

Learn more about this author, Molly Mullen.
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