by M. J. Joachim

Created on: February 22, 2008

Fostering Self Esteem in Toddlers

Almost every parent wants to do what is best for their children. Many times however, the best of intentions create unpredicted results. The formative years of a child's life, birth to about age 5 or 6, are filled with phenomenal growth and development. These rapid changes occur physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually. A loving environment fosters self esteem throughout these early years of development.

The most important thing we can do for our children is let them grow and change per their individual personality. We should not inhibit them with unnecessary responsibility. Children learn through playing when they are young. That's why there are so many educational environments and programs which invite youngsters to sing and dance, mold and squish, explore and discover. Throughout these programs colors and shapes are learned, feelings get examined, positive self image is reinforced without expectations or demands.

Toddlers love to be near their parents. Parents have obvious responsibilities. Toddlers should be a welcome distraction when chores need to get done. They should even be allowed to help if they so desire. However, parents should not have specified chores that they expect a toddler to perform on a regular basis. They should never create an environment that invites failure or disappointment during the early years of a child's development.

When a toddler is learning, they often don't even know it. They are watching their environment, tuning into sounds and sights, developing opinions as to whether these sounds and sights are safe, and determining how to respond. If they are given even a simple chore, like pulling up their blankets on their bed when they wake up in the morning, and it is met with disapproval from mommy because it was done in a hurry, they will be shattered. If they try to help fold towels, and someone refolds all of their work, with the best of intentions of course, they will learn that their work is not okay.

Toddlers are in a hurry. They are busy little people who need to be on the go most of the time. They absorb all of the messages we send their way. They decide who they are and what they are about. Chores are for older children, 6 years or above, who are ready to learn responsibility. Their basic self image has been outlined, and they are ready to apply the lessons of being a toddler to the next phase of life.

Toddlers have a lot of growing to do in just a few short years. They need to explore without demands and expectations. Their world needs to be one of acceptance. We tell toddlers "No" so much to keep them safe. "No, no, don't touch the plug outlet." "No, no, the stove is hot." "No, no, be gentle with the baby." Their world is inundated with the do's and don'ts of our world just to keep them safe. We should not add chores to the list in an effort to build their self esteem.

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