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Coed sleepovers? They're not a good idea in my book. Of course, boys and girls can be friends, and sure, a play date is a fine idea. Johnny and Jenny and their friends can have fun tossing a football in the back yard and baking chocolate chip cookies from scratch. This way, boys and girls can learn how to deal with each other outside of the more structured school environment. But a coed sleepover won't happen at my house. By dinner time, everyone needs to go home.

I realize that sleepovers involving both boys and girls could be completely innocent. They'll talk about how much they hate math or old Mrs. What's-her-name. They'll start a pillow fight, play with dolls (some boys that my girls play with actually enjoy the pretend version of domestic bliss), and binge on pizza and candy bars. But then again, maybe it won't be entirely innocent, and my job is to protect my children from harm. Even accidentally, a tickle fight might turn into a game of, "I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours" under the cover of darkness.

Even worse, something could happen, and not so innocently. I would like to think that I know my children's friends well enough, but if you can't really know your spouse until you've been married for at least a few years, then you can't possibly know the children coming to your house to play. What if they've been touched inappropriately by an adult in the past and attempt to do the same with your child? My mother-in-law cares for foster children, sometimes up to a dozen at a time. Some stay for years, while others are in her home for only a few weeks or months. A few of them were sexually abused, and I never feel comfortable when my children go over to visit. She lives in another state, so by necessity these visits continue over a night or two. Even though I'm with my girls, I worry that something may happen because the property is large - it covers over two acres - and has a large stand of trees in the back that the children like to explore. Nothing has happened to my children, but one of my mother-in-law's adopted children was touched in a private area by a boy who had just been placed with her. In other words, this child was not safe in his own home. What if I invite trouble into my own home? Is that what a responsible parent would do?

Even same sex sleepovers are a bear for a parent to deal with, what with the noise, sleep deprivation, and occasional arguments that have to be broken up. They take a lot out of you. I don't want to have to worry that something "funny" might be going on that I should have had the sense to prevent in the first place.

Learn more about this author, Nadine Odo.
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