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what we accomplish. According to Dr. Pamela Butler, author of Talking To Yourself, "Your behavior, your feelings, your sense of self esteem and even your level of stress are influenced by your inner speech." Butler continues, "Everything we do is first created by our self-talk. Self talk shapes our inner attitudes, our attitudes shape our behavior, and, of course, our behavior, what we do, shapes our accomplishments."

So, if you tell yourself you are a winner, an achiever, then, for sure, you are much more likely to succeed than the person who talks themselves down. Psychologist Shad Helmstetter, author of What You Say When You Talk To Yourself, states: "What we put into our brains is what we will get out." Garbage in-garbage out positive in-positive out.

Thus, the number one rule for developing a healthy self-esteem is: Say nice things to yourself. Accept the fact that the most important opinion about you is the one that you hold. Ultimately, nobody else is responsible for your self-esteem. Nobody else is accountable for your actions but you. Therefore, nobody's opinion about you is more important than yours.

HOW DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF?

"We have found the enemy and it is us." Pogo

Do you ever catch yourself saying things like: "Ugh, clumsy me. I messed up again." Or, "Wouldn't you know it, bad things always happen to me." How about "I can't do anything right."
I have some good news! Researcher Gail Dusa says it's easy to change our self-talk. The key is "to reprogram our minds for success. We have a choice each time we think to be positive or negative." Many of us don't believe this, but it is true. We choose whether to program ourselves for positive, successful days, or negative downer days. It is a choice. And here's more good news. No matter how many times you have let circumstances ruin your day or set your attitude, it's never too late to decide to change that. Start today. Choose to speak highly to yourself.
For example, perhaps you catch yourself saying something like "I'm always late," or "I'm not good at remembering names." Take action. Stop your inner talk and correct it. Replace those thoughts with "No, I used to be late, but now I am on time." And "I am getting better with names everyday." What we say is what we get; what we believe is what we become. The more you change your self-talk, the healthier self-esteem you build.
A great way to think about this process is what I call cut and splice. When they shoot TV shows and movies on film, they use

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