by Machelle Williams

Created on: February 19, 2008

Blind dating is like the Day after Thanksgiving Sale. Every time you do it, you swear you will never do it again. The pain and suffering is hardly worth the reward, and somehow that portable dvd player just wasn't worth the crushing blow to your frozen toes as they are trampled under the hysteria of eager shoppers. Maybe I am stretching a little. But I am convinced there are some similarities in the lure of these experiences. I have had several blind dates, and many of them ended poorly. Two that I can recall were snatched from the gaping jaws of disaster, and I will tell you how I did it.

First, in the spirit of Malcom Gladwells popular novel BLINK, don't wait until the evening has degenerated into disrepair before calling an audible. If your gut tells you in the first five minutes, that the date can not end well...believe it. Make a pre-emptive strike and tell your date up front that you only have 45 minutes and then you will have to go. I always host a blind date in a venue that affords itself to the "easy out" If you meet someone for appetizers and drinks at a casual restaurant, you can easily put a time limit on the encounter. At the same time, if things are going well, you can always move your date from the bar to the dining room. Museums are also good places for blind dates. If you get that uneasy feeling, you can limit yourself to the tour of one or two exhibits and then end things on a positive note. If things are going well, you can spend hours in a museum and really get to know someone. So, to coin an old phrase...location is everything!

Second, don't perfume the pig. Sometimes honesty really is the best policy, and choosing your words carefully can make the difference between a graceful exit, and a really bad experience. I once met a fellow, who just wasn't right for me. Not only was there no chemistry, I was actually repelled by him. We were mismatched on every level. So, I simply said, "Look. I don't want to put you through a horrible evening. I am not enjoying myself, and rather than waste your time and disrespect your feelings, I am just going to end this now. We can chalk this one up to bad chemistry ok?" Maybe I got lucky, but the guy I was with seemed genuinely glad that I didn't waste his time ( or his money ) and neither of us had to endure the torture of long drawn out tortuous evening.

So, to sum it up. Choose your location wisely, so you can end the date early without being awkward. Trust your instincts and be as forthright and honest as possible. Let's face it. We can tell ourselves we will never date again, but as sure as there will be another sale next Thanksgiving, we will go on another blind date. So, we might as well put ourselves in a position to make the most graceful exit possible.

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