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The reasons as to why people don't marry anymore are as countless as the reasons for divorce. It's no wonder that people are in no rush to get married when all they see around them are marriages doomed for failure with the ever-rising number of divorce rates. Not to mention when experienced first hand, either from your own parents or the close kindled friendships with others of failed marriages, taking the plunge only gets more and more stressful. Especially with the ease of the alternative-cohabitation. Your basically married to the person, the only difference being that there isn't a piece of paper legally binding anybody together, and you do your taxes separately. Why worry about prenuptials, paperwork, and the money and time involved in an age old tradition, when you can just move in together and not worry about the details? As a fellow cohabitant myself it has many more benefits than limitations for me. Granted I am in no rush to marry myself off, it makes it easier on my life to share responsibility with somebody else without any long term fears or worries.

It isn't that marriage is an unworthy thing, I'm all for it; when I am good and ready. Its the trust involved in a serious commitment and the 'forever' part that scares most people that are already living with their significant other. And it's no surprise when all the media flashes is infidelity and scandal. Everyone wants the fun, exciting life and that typically entails the naughty behavior and wanting something just because you can't have it paradigm, and unless that paradigm shifts, how are we supposed to trust each other with the sacred bond of a monogamous relationship that marriage entails? If there is no ring on the finger, you are still fair game, even if you are in a relationship. And with an ideal like that, you can't trust anybody. Sure, you might be able to trust your significant other, but will you ever trust the rest of the world that is constantly trying to influence that person?

Should trust exist, when living with somebody you care about it becomes harder to take the plunge if you aren't 100% certain about the relationship. And what it is ever 100% certain? Change. That is the only thing anyone can ever be certain about it in life, and what kind of foundation is that to base a relationship on? Unless true love is involved and the communication necessary to grow together as a couple in love and adapt to change TOGETHER, a true long-lasting marriage is hardly probable. You may be certain you love somebody at the present time, but times change and love is hard to define. You sometimes wonder if maybe you could love somebody else more, or that there is someone else in the world that could love you more...which reverts right back to society's ideals of more more more.

So what does it all really come down to? Overcoming the obstacles, loving unconditionally, and ultimate trust and communication between two people. Perhaps the desire that becomes strong enough to marry when you become sick and tired of the alternative. To belong to somebody else and know that that's OK with you because that person belongs to you as well. The knowledge that with whatever change that may come your way, it would be best lived with that other person and you wouldn't have it any other way.

Learn more about this author, Cassandra Grace Scroggs.
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