by Madison Starr

Created on: February 19, 2008

My greatest fear is not having any fear. Complete desensitization to all consequences of my actions. Not to have any fear may seem like a blessing to some people I know because they think they fear too much. I, too, am afraid of many things. Some of them I am afraid to admit to because each time I do, I get funny looks from people who can't empathize. If I reveal my fear of heights or bugs, generally I'm not laughed at or lectured. Those are some common fears and people seem to have a greater understanding of the anxiety they can cause. However, when I mention to people that I am scared of telephones (yes, that's right, those things you see glued to nearly everybody's ear in nearly every city of the world, send me running), they really let me have it. They look at me as if I should be in a padded room. Over the years, I have accepted the odd reactions that have accompanied that phobia. I simply tell myself that I was born into the wrong century.

The telephone, though, is not my greatest fear, neither is cancer, rejection, loneliness, childbirth, death, or the possibility that killer cyborgs are going to be transported from the future to destroy humanity one day. As I stated above, it is the possibility that one day I may not have anymore fear. That idea terrifies me. I don't want to imagine being fearless. If I have no fear, I would have no caution. I've always believed that fear keeps me alive and alert. Without it, I fear I would be nothing more than a monster, in a sense. Fear is a powerful emotion and opens up the door to such emotions as jealousy and anger. While those may be adverse, at least they are strong enough to let me know I'm still breathing. I accept my negative emotions along with my positive ones. The possibility of only feeling one or the other is frightening.

I fear dying but I do not fear death. I fear childbirth but not parenthood. I fear social functions but not intimate conversation. I fear tornadoes and hurricanes but not lightning and thunder. I fear loneliness but not solitude. There are many more things on my list but no room to mention them all. We all fear something. Sometimes, our fear can be debilitating. Other times, it can heighten our chance for survival. We spend precious time trying to overcome it, sometimes with great success and other times with failure. Right when we believe we've conquered it, something else springs into our path that scares us even more. I'm thankful for that, however. Without a little bit of fear, I would

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