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So you want to share you're life with him, but you're not willing to share his name? That simply does not make sense. To me, it comes simply down to asking yourself one question: does my surname really define who I am? To quote a line from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet: "A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet". In other words it matters what something is, not what it is called.

Many who believe women should not change their last names to their husbands after marriage claim that they want to "preserve their history". The thing is, you're history will not change just because your name does.

When I got married, I was so proud to become the wife of such a wonderful man I felt that changing my name was a sincere expression of my commitment to him. It also shows that I intend to honor the vows we made and spend my life with him.

Was it easy changing my last name to my husbands? Hardly! Social Security, passport, accounts, memberships, drivers licensethe list seemed never-ending and I had no idea how time-consuming and at times frustrating it would be to change my name. In fact, there are still things I come across with my maiden name on them almost a year later. At the end of the day, I am willing to do whatever it takes because I feel it is important.

Marriage is a public way of expressing your intentions to become one unit. Part of that public declaration is becoming Mr. and Mrs. (fill in your husband's last name here). I have heard it argued that since so many marriages end in divorce, you shouldn't bother changing you name. I'm sorry, but if that is the way you honestly feel going into marriage you shouldn't get married. If you go into a marriage with that mindset you're sure to be in that half of all marriages that end in divorce.

I feel like changing my name is an expression of my full commitment to my husband. To the women who say it is condescending to be expected to change your last name to your husband's, I have to question their devotion to their husband in so much as if you love someone so much that you want to marry them and spend your life with them, why wouldn't you want to share his last name as well?

I am all for women doing as well as men intellectually but I think the feminism trend is blemishing one of the most romantic pastimes of marriage. I can think of no greater gift to give my husband than by putting my full faith in him (and us) and changing my last name to his.

Learn more about this author, D. Warnaar.
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