by Grace Alexander

Created on: February 18, 2008   Last Updated: April 19, 2009

Let's agree to disagree. Sometimes that's all there is to say.

How many times have you and a close friend, or worse, a relative, ended up on opposite sides of a question? You can be utterly convinced that your view is the correct one, and still see merit in your opponent's argument. But too often, our own convictions blind us to the possibility that any view may hold a part of the truth.

Remember the blind men and the elephant? Each had only a piece of the truth, grasping at one portion of the whole and drawing their conclusions from their own personal experience. We need to hear alternate points of view to achieve true understanding. We may still be poles apart, but at least we can then co-exist!

How do you stay friends, maintain the social fabric and co-exist in a world full of conflicting opinions? There are always two sides to every story. The woman who strongly supports abortion may have been raped as a teen. Another who vehemently opposes it might have lost her chances for future children. Each has valid reasons for their beliefs - and if they take a moment to try and stand the other's shoes, they probably won't change their own mind but they might not rain down invective, either.

The key is communication. Honest, open, no holds barred. Coming out with a raging denunciation of the other party's views only engenders defensiveness. Take the first step forward and ask the other person WHY they feel the way they do. Nine times out of ten, you'll say, "I never looked at it like that." You might not change your opinion, but maybe now they'll be willing to look at it your way, too- if only for a moment. Respect for others doesn't only apply to their person; it also extends to their beliefs. You don't have to join the team- but don't heckle them, either.

Agreeing to disagree is the only way to solve some disputes. Unless you'd rather go live in an igloo by the North Pole (and if you're that opinionated, you'd probably argue with yourself over how big each snow block should be), you'll have to compromise to keep any sort of friends in this world. When I say compromise, I don't mean compromise your beliefs, your values system, or your faith. You just can't say, "I am always right and everyone who disagrees with me is wrong."

A common conception is that absolute truth is always somewhere in the middle. I propose that there are no absolutes. Rather each person has been shaped by such a multitude of various experiences that their life cannot possibly be identical to that of any other. No-one is ever going to agree with another person on EVERYTHING. We hope to live among and relate to people of like minds (why else would matchmaking sites advertise 'deep compatibility) but if we live in the real world, even our own private version of it, we have to get along.

So take one minute to communicate. Take another to listen. We have to learn, to teach, to grow...to respect.

Otherwise, the blind are leading the blind.

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