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Seven years ago a friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer. He was only 15 at the time when he found out. It didn't take long before he started all his theropies. It wasn't long before he stopped coming to school and was unable to play football. Everyone liked him. He was popular and nice and what happened to him was unfair. He made it through high school and he had beat cancer two times over. This kid was strong, and aside from the cancer he was healthy. Two years after high school he got sick like any normal human being. He thought it was ammonia. After a couple of days he went to the doctor. He had really hoped it was ammonia, but there was something inside him that knew the real truth. He had lung cancer. Not only did he have lung cancer, but he did in fact have ammonia. Doctors couldn't do anything because his lungs were filling up with fluids and they were unable to operate.

My fried sat in the hospital bed receiving a death sentence. The doctors gave him a week. He would be able to be placed on a ventilator in hopes of a miracle, but it didn't look good. Strong and confident he refused to be put on a ventilator. He was tired and didn't want to fight anymore. He was sick of all the hospitals. He didn't want to be a vegetable. He was willing to die.

He would go unconscious for about a week. Saying his good byes ahead of time I am sure. His parents sat next to him every single moment wondering if they should respect his wishes. Wondering if they were ready to say good bye. They would respect his wishes. They allowed him to die and that is what he did two weeks later. His lungs collapsed and cancer won once again.

I think of that story now that I am a mother and wonder if I could be so brave in either situation. Could I let my daughter die? I would like to think that I would do whatever was decent and moral. Could I sit there and listen to the bad news while saying, "OK. It's time to die."?

My friend is no longer fighting for his life. I would like to think he's somewhere better, wherever that may be. I would like to think that he can play football and wrestle again like he did before all the cancer and hospitals. It sucks to say good bye and it is never easy. I fear it so much that my stomach hurts when I think of the days when I will have to plan my fathers funeral. I would like to think it will all work out for the best, no matter how afraid I may be.

Learn more about this author, Alicia Black.
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