To the man who used to love me,

There were certain things i should have had the strength to say over the years but now i find myself regretting my silence. I need you to know exactly what is weighing on my heart so through the heartache i managed to find the strength i thought id lost so long ago and now i ask you one last favor; please give me the final chance to say I'm sorry. There were many things i wanted to do to make you feel just a little better in your life. I needed to be your rock, your savior, but still remain your lover. I wanted to be your idea of perfect but instead i found that there were just too many times i had to say i was sorry during our relationship. I was sorry for your hurting heart when you missed your kids. Sorry for the long hours you worked when you went away to make a better life with a new job. Sorry when weeks went by without a warm embrace. Sorry for always being faithful. Sorry for being the best person i could be. I was sorry i shared my dreams and goals. Sorry you made me feel safe in this cruel world, but most of all i was sorry for not being the woman you needed in your life. I was who i was but i guess it wasn't ever good enough. Ive left those sorrys behind but with me i bring another list of sorrys that have become to hard to end, so this is what i need to say:

I'm sorry i loved you too much
sorry i needed you in my life
sorry you were my Mr. Perfect
sorry you were too kind
sorry your lips were so soft
sorry our love was so passionate
sorry you were my best friend

I'm sorry i finally found my soul mate
sorry you made me smile even when you were so far away
sorry you were my first thought of the day
sorry i wanted to make a family with you
sorry you couldn't return the feelings
sorry you stopped loving me so long ago
sorry you had to give me up for her

when you left i wanted to say "don't go"
but instead i could only mutter, "I'm sorry it didn't work out." I'm sorry I can't learn to hate you. Sorry i still miss you. I'm truly sorry your still my first thought in the morning and although I've tried to feel another way, I'm sorry, but please forgive me because I'm still in love with you.

Sincerely yours,
The One You Left Behind

Learn more about this author, April Poe.
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