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If you asked me this question a few years ago, I would directly tell you that arrange marriage is nothing but a way for parents to control the fate of their children's lives as adults. They get to choose a life partner for you based on physique, finances, family and benefits. Basically having control over what skin color, type of hair your children may have, how stable your life will be financially, the people you will be stuck calling your in laws for life and choosing the person that you will have to sleep with for the rest of your life. Looking at it that way, I think arrange marriage is outdated.

In my twenty eight years I have seen and heard of women in my family getting married without even a glimpse of their husband to be. I remember my father once told me a story of an arrangement of marriage of my aunt based on her walking style and her hair length. As dreadful as that may seem to this day, my aunt is a happily married woman with adult children some of whom had their own marriage arranged. One of her daughters who in fact had a love marriage is now divorced. So i wonder if arrange marriage is so outdated, perhaps I am on the fence. Maybe the concept is not outdated, maybe the method is. In my opinion, arrange marriage has evolved in the cultures that it is practiced in. Gone are days of marrying a stranger based on the guidance and the order of your parents. Now the people get to know each other after the selection of the parents, sometimes with supervision sometimes without. Often parents have range of candidates with whom their son/daughter can have a cordial communications with,with the intention of choosing the right partner.

So I guess I wonder, is it so odd that parents may be just a bit more logical in finding the appropriate life partner for you, financially and physically? perhaps not. As long it is done is a supportive, respectful way, with the understanding that the ultimate decision comes from him or her, I don't really see any objection to it.

So arrange marriage is outdated, if the opinions,rights and decisions of the individuals involved are disregarded for the sake of following a tradition. It is reasonable if all parties can live happily ever after or at least make an attempt at it.

Learn more about this author, Nadia Khan.
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