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1. Her campaign managers are jumping from the sinking Hillary ship, or as Bill would yell, women and women first!
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2. Ms. Winfrey just opened her Oprah retail store in Chicago. Her biggest sellers could be a stick-a-pin-in-Hillary voodoo doll and a McCain-shaped punching bag. I don't even want to know what the Bill Clinton doll would look like.
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3. After her defeats in Virginia, Maryland and the District of Columbia, Hillary really needs a rest. She says she wants to go hunker down and regroup in her New York home, or as Bill now calls it, the Alamo.

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4. President George W. Bush says John McCain is a true conservative. He'd also say McCain agrees with him about his atomic energy policy if The Prez could just learn to pronounce nooklular.
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5. Rush Limbaugh now says he's John McCain's most valuable asset. Oh, sure, and Bill Clinton is Hillary's most faithful husband.
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6. Have you watched this season's new episodes of "American Idol"? Why would anyone want to see such a weird bunch of embarrassingly untalented losers? Oops, sorry, I'm thinking of those TV news experts who are always yapping about the Prez campaigns.
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7. During all the state primaries, I really hated all those annoying, repetitious Hillary and Obama I-can-save-America-all-by-myse lf ads that flooded TV screens day and night. They're so obnoxious, I switch channels just to find Head-On commercials.
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8. Ted, Bobby's kids and the most of the Kennedy family have endorsed Barack Obama in the Prez race, which is like a virtual slap in the face for the Clinton family. It was the worst slap in the face for Bill since Hillary found out about Monica Lewinski.
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9. While Hillary had to dig into her own bank account to get five million bucks more campaign money to keep up the race, Barak Obama raised $32 million in January, is expected to gather another $30 million in February and maybe millions more as the campaign heats up along with the weather. Gee, that new Oprah retail store must be making lots of money.
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10. Anti-McCain super-conservative tubbies Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Michael Moore should be very thankful to the Republican candidate they loved to hate. Being forced to eat crow could take off some of their excess blubber.

Learn more about this author, Ted Sherman.
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