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I cannot focus on all of my pet peeves in one article because I would make a set of encyclopedias look like a series of leaflets. So I shall focus on one peeve and the biggest time waster of my life.

The telephone is an instrument which enables us to speak to another human being who is not currently in our presence. The telephone is a form of communication. When I use the telephone, invariably it is because I wish to speak to a person. This is why the automated telephone system sends me into eruptions of rage.

I do not want to punch numbers into the telephone keypad. I have a calculator if I want to punch numbers into a keypad. Damaging my manicure does not speed up the process of allowing me to speak to a person. And I have yet to see how it has assisted the company in handling my call in a more efficient manner. What does happen is that when I do get to speak to the customer service representative who has been too busy to take my call for the past ten minutes, they get an irate customer who has been trying to speak to human life form, but instead has been given the task of selecting various options in attempts to keep me from communicating with other Homo sapiens.

I hate it when I call the bank and I want to speak to Mr. Smith. But in order for the bank to better assist me in routing the call properly , I am greeted with "Please enter your six digit sorting code. Now enter your account number. Now enter your date of birth. Now enter your home telephone number. Now enter the first, third and last digits of your security code". I can't because the bloody phone won't take all those numbers and starts beeping at me!

And those annoying little reminders while you are stuck on hold listening to some hideous rendition of 'Greensleeves', continually interrupted by that caring voice stating "Your call is important to us". Well if I'm so important to them why don't they help the economy and employ enough staff to answer my call? Surely they must realize that I am calling to speak to a person and not attempting to set the world record for minutes stuck on hold.

Automated phone systems seem to do everything in their power to keep us from speaking to a person. We are continually instructed to keep pressing numbers until our fingers are broken or until we can no longer see which number to push because it has been worn off by the continual process of pressing various numbers until we can no longer read them.

The worst system I have ever been subjected to was the American Embassy

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