by Paul Lines

Created on: February 17, 2008

You are sitting opposite your blind date, straining with difficulty to keep the smile in place and the conversation lively and interesting, whilst at the same time wondering how you can bow out gracefully from what has become a bad experience. This could result from not liking the looks of the blind date you are with to being offended or at odds with their views, or for countless other reasons.

Although the temptation may be to make a swift exit through the rear door of the bar or restaurant that you have met in, never to be seen again, this is neither fair nor honest to either party. It would be an even worse situation if, upon first spotting your blind date and deciding this was not for you, you were to avoid making contact in the first place. Leaving these underhanded options aside, there are a number of ways that you can gracefully end the bad experience without either party being offended.

Honestly is always the best policy. However, it does not have to be inflicted in an abrupt or hurtful manner. For example, by this I mean that you should not simply stand up in the middle of a meal and say, "this is not working for me" and walk away. Neither should you end the date agreeing to meet again or saying that you will call when it is obvious you have no intention of doing eiter.

If you think about it rationally, a blind date is just a few hours of your life and therefore, making that a pleasant time for both of you, irrespective of the outcome, is surely not too much to ask. It is a social occasion that should be enjoyed by two adults, even if you feel that it has no long-term future in terms of developing into a relationship, and this is what you should say to the date if that is your feeling.

Ending the blind date almost as soon as it has started would be rude and it also does not take into consideration the amount of time the other person has spent getting ready to meet you, nor the fact that they are giving up their time to provide company. Therefore, unless they are being really objectionable, in which case walking away may be the only option, if you want them to understand that it will not last, the gracious way to approach the situation is to say that this is the case, but that you will be happy to complete the date on a social basis and part amicably.

Similarly, if you are ending a blind date knowing that you will not meet the other person again, be honest about it. Do not reply with inane comments such as "I will give you a call" when you do not mean it. Simply state that unfortunately it did not work for you and you think that they could find someone else who will show them the affection they deserve, although that cannot be you. Leave them with hope and a smile from which they can move on with their life, not a feeble excuse that will lead to hurt as they wait in vain to hear from you.

Being polite does not cost anything. It also avoids hurting people's feelings and, more importantly, does not damage someone's self-esteem. To end a blind date on an amicable and graceful basis will mean that both you and the date will have left the date without having caused more pain or hurt to the other than is necessary. Parting in this way enables both of you to retain a feeling of self worth.

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