by Rae Lynne Morvay

Created on: February 17, 2008

It was the perfect time for us to have a baby. My husband and I had been married for Six years. We were doing fine financially. We were living under our means, and had reached a point where we could live on my husband's salary, so it would be comfortable for me to stay home with our new baby. Everything was perfect, the timing was perfect and soon I found the little stick in the bathroom had a positive sign. I was thrilled and took two more tests just to make sure the first one was actually working properly. After a couple more positives I called my doctor, and got an appointment as soon as possible. As soon the the doctor confirmed that I was indeed pregnant, I called and told everyone I knew. My husband and I were truly happy.

I did everything I was supposed to do. I took my vitamins, I cut all bad foods from my diet, I drank plenty of milk. None of this would be enough. The fateful day came when I started to bleed. I told my boss, and he let me go to the doctor right away. My husband got off work and joined me. The doctor told me that she would need to do an ultrasound. The machine would be available in about an hour, another doctor had been using at the time. The doctor asked us if we could wait at the office, so that we would be there when the machine became available. The hour seemed like an eternity, and I was cramping horribly, I knew in my heart I was losing my baby, but I was holding on to hope that the bleeding was nothing, and everything would be fine if I was very careful and took it easy.

While we were in the office waiting in the waiting room for the machine to come, there was a little boy about 3 years old and his father waiting in the waiting room, the mommy must have been inside with the doctor. The daddy was so patient and sweet playing with his little boy, and they were playing and giggling, and it was an adorable site, but almost more than I could possibly handle. There I was siting there probably losing my baby, and the sweet father and child seemed to be taunting me showing me what my husband I would not have.

After I finally had the ultrasound, and the doctor confirmed that there was no heart beat, I began to cry. The doctor was sympathetic and told me that she too had lost her first child. She told me that she saw no reason why we could not try again in a couple of months to get pregnant again. Of course that was little comfort to me at that moment in time. This baby was already part of me, this baby was already a part of our family.

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