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does not want to discuss the negative part of the situation. My younger brother usually responds to my mother's negative comments with an off-the -wall response that plays right into her ball park. To that she has nothing more to say. As for my sister and I, we take our mother's admonitions to heart. I am trying to use my brother's brand of humor and it works.

These days, I am on a campaign to combat my negativity. My mother does not call me so often now because I have stalled her with my silent reflections. I do not want her affecting my day. I start my days with a smile in the bathroom mirror. I try to tell the face in the mirror that I like what I see. If putting on a few pounds is bothering me, I avoid the scales and tell myself if I keep exercising, the weight will eventually come off.

I wake up every morning with one positive thought. I greet my husband with one cheerful comment. I face the day with the appreciation that I am alive, because so many of my colleagues have died at a young age. Hazards of the job we have.

As for my mother, whenever I see her, I try to make her feel better with a compliment, be it her appearance or her cooking. A mere thank you will make her happy. She too is learning. Lately she too has been complimenting me on what I am wearing. Perhaps she is seeing me as a person for the first time.

Occasionally, the ugly monster rears its head, but this time I am armed, with a sword and pen.

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