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Negativity runs in the family. My mother was born with it. I was raised with it. Unknowingly, I passed this gene on to my son.

Negative people suffer from low self-esteem. They think they are not worthy. When I was young I would put myself down before anyone had a chance to do so. I would point out my flaws before anyone could find out about there. As they say, no one knows your frailties until you point them out, and make it an observation for all to see.

Negative people are not aware of this condition unless they are confronted with this truth. Negative people often operate within a narrow sphere of awareness. They are so enclosed within themselves, they cannot view how others see them in their negativity. They feel unloved, disappointed, hurt and sad. With the wall of negativity either towards others or towards themselves, they are insulated from the world.

Whenever my mother calls, the rest of my day is bad. I take it out on my husband. Whenever my mother calls and tries to tell me how I should be a mother to my son, I usually have a fight with my son. This continued for years until I realized how much control my mother had over my life. With that realization I started to modify my reactions. Instead of lashing out angrily at my husband, I will tell him what was said, and he will chuckle because he knows my mother.

As for my son, I have stopped calling him every time I have spoken to my mother. I am gentler and kinder in my approach. He has appreciated the gesture by saying " Mother, you have let go...".

In dealing with unhappiness created by negativity, you have to understand why a person is negative. When you understand the source, you can create solutions to misdirect it. We've
often heard the saying "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". I've always taken this saying with a grain of salt. These days, I adhere to its principles. Non-acknowledgement will stop a negative statement right in its tracks. It cannot go any further. It has no credence.

When faced with negative remarks, people always try to counterbalance it with a positive comeback, like "Oh, he's not so bad" or " he may be a so and so but,..." It is a trite and mundane way of approaching negativity but it does dilute the ammunition.

When in doubt, always use humor. My older brother handles my mother's negativity by not letting her get past the first base. He will respond by asking why she is always so negative about everything. He will also respond with confrontation that he

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