by Ann Major

Created on: February 17, 2008   Last Updated: July 30, 2010

It is often difficult to break out of a mode of negativity, especially when surrounded by like minds, and especially if they happen to be your family.  With friends, there is the option to discontinue the friendship, however, with close family members, severing relationships is not really the way to go.  Even though negativity, whether from yourself or others, affects greatly our personal happiness and in the way we deal with life.

Our first attitude in communicating with negative people is to react also in an unfavorable way.  Since this never opens up the channel for communications, be patient in response and allow the negative person to have their say.  By not fueling their abusive approach, we can ease our frustrations somewhat. 

Having a certain mindset towards negative people is also a stabilizer.  Knowing that their condition stems from great insecurity, realizing this and making them feel better by a compliment, or giving credence to their negative comments, or just giving them attention will do a well to diffuse a potentially explosive situation.  When speaking with a negative person, providing positive feedback will make them feel better about themselves.

Negative people frequently have an unrealistic perception of the word "perfect".  Because they expect perfection from themselves, and consequently from others, they are often frustrated because things cannot be done perfectly.  Understanding their exceptional expectations can make one more compassionate toward such unrealistic standards and know how they must experience inner turmoil each day.  So being sympathetic toward a negative person can help alleviate their stress.

Phone calls from negative people can affect one's otherwise wonderful day.  In understanding why these calls are made, one can change one's mindset by taking their words with a grain of salt.  Do not take them so seriously.  Obviously, negative people need to laugh more at themselves and at life in order to lighten their load. 

Negative people are often obsessive-compulsive in an attempt to control their external environment in order to feel more secure.  Things like constantly washing one's hands, or going around the house every light testing the locks displays paranoia and fear.  Understanding this by showing them that nothing has gone askew so they can sleep peacefully during the night is the thing to do.  Reassuring them of their personal safety

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