by Victoria Johnston

Created on: February 17, 2008

My pet peeve is time. I hate time. I hate having to be on time, time management, its about time, have a good ole time, anything and everything associated with time. We live in a society of calendars, and appointments, and blackberry's to do lists and schedules. Why? Time for me creates anxiety. It reminds me of things I have not accomplished, and at times makes me feel like a failure. Time reminds me that my eggs are almost done doing whatever they do to make children. Time is etched lightly in the outer corners of my eyes. Why does time rule everything? Time will heal all wounds? No it won't! You know what's going to heal hurt, sorrow and heartache? Tequila. The perfect time killer.

Time has crept into my body and deflated it of its suppleness. It has driven out collagen and elasticity. How many of us have heard " Your wasting time?" Well guess what., time has wasted me! Time is what I have to wake up to every morning at 5:00 am, then hit the snooze 15 times, so I can be to work on time. I've decided to try and beat time out of my life. I have decided to trick time and keep it at bay. I have decided to reverse the effects of time. My first step to living in a time free zone, was getting TEVO. Oh yes, television will never ever tell me what time I can watch the best doctors at Seattle Grace deliver a two headed baby. The next thing was, casual dress versus business dress at the office. Who says the appropriate time for casual dress is for Fridays only? Now I choose when my Friday is. Sunday night rolls around and I no longer dread going in to work.
Why? Because the next day is Friday.

Another freedom from time I have discovered. Food. " It's not dinner time, you can't have a hamburger for breakfast it'll ruin the rest of your meals" Really? Says who?
Most mornings I don't even have a breakfast time, anymore. If I want to have breakfast I will. If I want to eat a pound of red meat and cheesecake at 8 am I will, and have.
I love waking up, walking to the freezer and getting out the ice cream. Guess what?
It doesn't ruin your appetite. Whoever said it did was a time obsessed freak!

I find it liberating being in a different time zone. I get less stressed out, have less anxiety and believe it or not enjoy life a tad bit more , than when I used to try and be on time for everything. I rebuke time and its followers. My microwave has had the wrong time on it for almost 3 months. I will not change it. Right now its 3 in the morning, and do I think its time for bed? Most certainly not. Time is working for me now, and pretty soon I am going to slip that biatch a pink slip, and then when someone politely asks., " Excuse me but what time is it"? My response will be, " I don't know, my guess is its five o'clock somewhere"

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